on a lighter note...

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN AH ENABLER SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR LIFETIME TITANIUM BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2010
    Messages:
    21,532
    Video/Photo:
    415
    Likes Received:
    14,060
    Hunted:
    Namibia, South Africa, Botswana, Mozambique, Canada, USA, Mexico
    [​IMG]

    Towing the guy so fast he jack-knifed the truck.
     

    Attached Files:


  2. Dudders

    Dudders AH Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2015
    Messages:
    433
    Video/Photo:
    111
    Likes Received:
    1,095
    Location:
    uk
    Hunted:
    UK, South Africa, Namibia, Sweden
    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

    Hogpatrol and Tom Hawk like this.

  3. Dudders

    Dudders AH Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2015
    Messages:
    433
    Video/Photo:
    111
    Likes Received:
    1,095
    Location:
    uk
    Hunted:
    UK, South Africa, Namibia, Sweden
    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

    rinehart0050, gizmo, BC.Pat and 4 others like this.

  4. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,993
    Video/Photo:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7,556
    Location:
    Delaware, USA
    Member of:
    Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA
    Hunted:
    RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX
    Guys are on their way home after a hard day of pheasant hunting. They stop at a diner, sit down at a table and the waitress comes over and asks for their drinks. Two order cokes, one orders iced tea and one orders coffee. Waitress returns, sets the cold drinks down and coffee last. Coffee guy notices she had her middle finger in the coffee. She asks them if they want any appetizers. Wings around except for the coffee guy. He orders a cup of soup. Waitress returns, wings on the table, soup last. Coffee and soup guy notices she had the same finger in the soup. Appetizers delivered, waitress asks what entree?
    Special for everyone but the coffee and soup guy. He's ready for a big bowl of chili. Waitress brings the food, same deal, finger in the chili. Guy finally asks, hey what's with the finger in the coffee, the soup and now the chili? She says "I got a boil on the tip of my finger and the doctor told me to keep it warm and moist". He says, "If that's the case, maybe you ought to stick it up your ass instead". She looks him straight in the eye and replies, "Oh, I do that too". He says "Oh yeah, when"? She says "every chance I get but mostly in between servings".
     
    jonezy and Tom Hawk like this.

  5. ArmyGrunt

    ArmyGrunt AH Elite

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,681
    Video/Photo:
    63
    Likes Received:
    2,089
    Hunted:
    USA, South Africa, Hungary
    Badger Matt and Hogpatrol like this.

  6. ArmyGrunt

    ArmyGrunt AH Elite

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,681
    Video/Photo:
    63
    Likes Received:
    2,089
    Hunted:
    USA, South Africa, Hungary
  7. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,993
    Video/Photo:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7,556
    Location:
    Delaware, USA
    Member of:
    Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA
    Hunted:
    RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX
    mattresstags.jpg
     
    Rob404, Tom Hawk and Iwannahunt like this.

  8. Neil Molendyk

    Neil Molendyk AH Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2014
    Messages:
    57
    Video/Photo:
    14
    Likes Received:
    63
    priceless LMAO
     

  9. Spooksar

    Spooksar AH Fanatic

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2013
    Messages:
    845
    Video/Photo:
    23
    Likes Received:
    659
    Location:
    Beaverlodge Alberta
    Member of:
    SCI, Dallas Safari Club, NFA ,CSSA NRA, CCFR
    Hunted:
    South Africa, Namibia, Canada (BC, Alberta Nunavet) Texas, New Mexico
    The sad part is this is truly how bad the US media has got
     
    Bullthrower338 likes this.

  10. Bullthrower338

    Bullthrower338 AH ENABLER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2014
    Messages:
    3,447
    Video/Photo:
    120
    Likes Received:
    6,797
    Location:
    Houston, Texas
    Member of:
    Life Member Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation, NRA, Huntin' Fool, DSC and Pope and Young Club
    Hunted:
    USA, Mexico, Canada, RSA, Australia NT
  11. Brent in Az

    Brent in Az SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2015
    Messages:
    2,221
    Video/Photo:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,646
    Location:
    Arizona
    Hunted:
    USA - Az, NM, CO, MT, MN.
    About time 434c95696cb538d00491dbc8c961e0d36c500a282b02b1808a68f4bbb934ad65.jpg
     
    gizmo, cpr0312, Tom Hawk and 3 others like this.

  12. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,993
    Video/Photo:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7,556
    Location:
    Delaware, USA
    Member of:
    Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA
    Hunted:
    RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX
    image(7).jpg
     
    WAB, gizmo, BWH and 3 others like this.

  13. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,993
    Video/Photo:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7,556
    Location:
    Delaware, USA
    Member of:
    Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA
    Hunted:
    RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX
    Sick but funny.

    A small zoo in Mississippi obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult
    to
    handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
    Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks,

    had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.


    Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

    Bobby Lee showed some interest but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under
    five conditions:


    "First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

    "Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

    "Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

    "Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

    And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00.
     

  14. Brent in Az

    Brent in Az SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2015
    Messages:
    2,221
    Video/Photo:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,646
    Location:
    Arizona
    Hunted:
    USA - Az, NM, CO, MT, MN.
    I saw this meme, and somehow, Nancy Pelosi, popped into my head.... c10a0fdd047a0a1913b24e47bf3290ea5ef40398bc3bb32a0af6ee99beb02b8c.jpg
     

  15. Iwannahunt

    Iwannahunt AH Veteran

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2018
    Messages:
    155
    Video/Photo:
    7
    Likes Received:
    136
    Location:
    Canada
    Member of:
    Local Wildlife Federation
    Hunted:
    Canada, Namibia
    Note: Canada will no longer be accepting these immigrants (even if they are reason and/or mass "challenged" and, even if Trudeau is hot for them.)
     
    BWH and Hogpatrol like this.

  16. ArmyGrunt

    ArmyGrunt AH Elite

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,681
    Video/Photo:
    63
    Likes Received:
    2,089
    Hunted:
    USA, South Africa, Hungary
  17. Eventually_Africa_Again

    Eventually_Africa_Again AH Enthusiast

    Joined:
    May 3, 2016
    Messages:
    461
    Video/Photo:
    33
    Likes Received:
    501
    Location:
    New Mexico
    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

    Hogpatrol and gizmo like this.

  18. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,993
    Video/Photo:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7,556
    Location:
    Delaware, USA
    Member of:
    Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA
    Hunted:
    RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX
    ALLAH & THE 72 VIRGINS "

    A suicide bomber died and went to Paradise, as foretold.

    When he arrived there he said to Allah that he was ready to claim his seventy-two virgins, as promised.

    Out of curiosity he asked Allah why there were so many virgins in heaven.

    Allah looked at him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the seventy-two virgins are here in Paradise because people like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous and frankly,you'll be on constant, exhausting duty. I shall banish you from Paradise should you fail!"

    The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep seventy-two women satisfied for all eternity?"

    Allah replied, "Who told you they were women?
     
    Rob404, Tom Hawk and Spooksar like this.

  19. fish hunter

    fish hunter AH Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2016
    Messages:
    60
    Video/Photo:
    30
    Likes Received:
    193
  20. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,993
    Video/Photo:
    44
    Likes Received:
    7,556
    Location:
    Delaware, USA
    Member of:
    Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA
    Hunted:
    RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX
    On her first day at the Senior Complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:

    "The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females."

    "Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

    She continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180."

    "Are there any questions?"

    At this point, an older gentleman stood up in the crowd inquired: "How much for a Season Pass?"
     

Share This Page

 
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice