on a lighter note...

Rob404

Bronze supporter
AH legend
Joined
Jan 6, 2013
Messages
3,659
Reaction score
4,465
Location
Chaska Minnesota
Media
53
Hunting reports
Africa
2
Member of
NRA, Member Minnesota Horse and Hunt,,Caribou Hunt Club
Hunted
Illinois,Wisconsin,Michigan Limpopo Province South Africa
569545_460s_v1.jpg
 

Hogpatrol

Silver supporter
AH ambassador
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
5,790
Reaction score
12,322
Location
Delaware, USA
Media
76
Articles
4
Member of
Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA, Bridgeville Rifle & Pistol Club
Hunted
RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX, ME
Bubba and Billy Joe were on vacation, walking downtown, window shopping, and they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.99 each, shirts $1.99 each, trousers $2.49 each”
Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Joe, Lookee here! We could buy a whole gob o’ these, take ‘em back to Alabama, sell 'em and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin', 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell that stuff to us.”

Now, I'll talk in a slow Texas drawl so's they don't know we is from Alabama."
They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Texas drawl, “I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.99, 100 of them there shirts at $1.99, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.39. I'll back up my pickup and...."
The owner of the shop interrupts, "Y'all from Alabama, ain't ya?"
"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba. "How come y'all knowed that?"
"Because this is a Dry-Cleaners."
 

Tom Hawk

AH enthusiast
Joined
Sep 23, 2017
Messages
274
Reaction score
233
Articles
1
Angela: Duetche superglue very stronk. Uh-oh. Mein hand are stücken. Hopevully no one vill notice.
 

Hogpatrol

Silver supporter
AH ambassador
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
5,790
Reaction score
12,322
Location
Delaware, USA
Media
76
Articles
4
Member of
Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA, Bridgeville Rifle & Pistol Club
Hunted
RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX, ME
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney,Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T . Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
 

Hogpatrol

Silver supporter
AH ambassador
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
5,790
Reaction score
12,322
Location
Delaware, USA
Media
76
Articles
4
Member of
Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA, Bridgeville Rifle & Pistol Club
Hunted
RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX, ME
*THE ITALIAN WEDDING TEST*


I was a very happy man.

My wonderful Italian girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me....It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.

Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law put down his shotgun and hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car!
 

Hogpatrol

Silver supporter
AH ambassador
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
5,790
Reaction score
12,322
Location
Delaware, USA
Media
76
Articles
4
Member of
Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA, Bridgeville Rifle & Pistol Club
Hunted
RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX, ME
While on her way to visit an elderly shut in Sister Mary Elizabeth ran out of gas. She searched her car, and the only container she could find to put gas in was a bed pan that she had planned to use for the elderly woman. So, grabbing the bedpan, Sister Mary Elizabeth walked three blocks to nearest service station and filled the bedpan with gas. In the meantime three Baptist gentlemen had taken a seat on a park bench across the street from Sisters car. They watched her approach the car, then proceed to pour the contents of the bedpan into the gas tank. One of the Baptists looks at the other two and says, If it starts I`m turning Catholic.
 

Bullthrower338

AH legend
Joined
Sep 20, 2014
Messages
4,410
Reaction score
10,006
Location
Houston, Texas and Alder, MT
Media
176
Hunting reports
Africa
2
USA/Canada
1
Australia/NZ
2
Member of
Life Member Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation, NRA, Huntin' Fool, DSC and Pope and Young Club
Hunted
USA, Mexico, Canada, RSA, Australia NT, Zimbabwe
 

thriller

AH elite
Joined
Sep 23, 2013
Messages
1,113
Reaction score
1,246
Location
Alabama
Media
27
Member of
NWTF, NRA, DU, SCI and QDMA
Hunted
Countries: Argentina, United States and Zimbabwe States: AL, LA, FL, MS, Tenn., SD, ND, IA, NE, KN,SC, GA, TX and NC
You really just cant fix stupid "what is an azimuth?" haha
 

Bullthrower338

AH legend
Joined
Sep 20, 2014
Messages
4,410
Reaction score
10,006
Location
Houston, Texas and Alder, MT
Media
176
Hunting reports
Africa
2
USA/Canada
1
Australia/NZ
2
Member of
Life Member Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation, NRA, Huntin' Fool, DSC and Pope and Young Club
Hunted
USA, Mexico, Canada, RSA, Australia NT, Zimbabwe
I’m planning on killing a Cape buffalo with one of those new azimuth thingys
 

ArmyGrunt

AH elite
Joined
Nov 19, 2013
Messages
1,710
Reaction score
2,271
Media
63
Articles
1
Hunting reports
Africa
1
USA/Canada
2
Europe
1
Hunted
USA, South Africa, Hungary
Careful of what's behind...I think it uses lasers or something radioactive
 

Rob404

Bronze supporter
AH legend
Joined
Jan 6, 2013
Messages
3,659
Reaction score
4,465
Location
Chaska Minnesota
Media
53
Hunting reports
Africa
2
Member of
NRA, Member Minnesota Horse and Hunt,,Caribou Hunt Club
Hunted
Illinois,Wisconsin,Michigan Limpopo Province South Africa

Hogpatrol

Silver supporter
AH ambassador
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
5,790
Reaction score
12,322
Location
Delaware, USA
Media
76
Articles
4
Member of
Atglen Sportsmen's Club, NRA ,SCCFSA, Bridgeville Rifle & Pistol Club
Hunted
RSA, DE, NJ, PA, KS, TX, ME
No Witness News. Rated R

 

Badger Matt

AH veteran
Joined
May 29, 2009
Messages
139
Reaction score
166
Location
Simpsonville, SC
Media
20
Articles
1
Hunting reports
Africa
3
Member of
SCI, DSC Life, NRA Life, NAHC Life, Trout Unlimited
Hunted
South Africa. AK, CA, FL, GA, KS, SC, CO, MO, PA, ID, VA, WY, TX
It's the Back Azimuth that'll kill you if you're not careful. A lot of folks don't know that and die early.
 

mdwest

AH elite
Joined
Mar 20, 2016
Messages
1,815
Reaction score
3,187
Location
DFW
Media
35
Articles
1
Hunting reports
Africa
2
Mex/S.Amer
1
Member of
DSC Life Member, NRA Life Member
Hunted
USA, South Africa, Argentina, Peru
cant you get a doctor to prescribe you an inhaler for azimuth?

seems like azimuth shouldnt be killing anybody anymore these days....

maybe just make it hard to run really fast or something...

:)
 

Forum statistics

Threads
35,579
Messages
663,908
Members
60,249
Latest member
AOYBarbara
 

 

 

Latest posts

Latest profile posts

Tally-Ho Hunting Safaris wrote on jfowler812's profile.
hi Mr fowler

im happy to do these deals for 2021

i will knock off 10% off each deal if you take 2 so $18000 per package

look forward to your response

regards
Mule deer and Colorado elk seasons almost done! Hunters driving farm roads, looking for racks, their PH driving them along, I ask that you not pull into my drive. The buck behind me, on the boundary line of the GMU somehow knows. The hunter laughs, I would invite you in to see my Searcy rifles but social distancing prevails, darkness arrives and the buck slides away into secret tree grove...
Boyd Brooks wrote on Skinnersblade's profile.
Ellwood Epps has 1 box of 25-20 in stock. Look them up on the web. They are located in Orilla Ontario.
Lkhntr wrote on Warpig602's profile.
On the vx6 2-12 what does the zl2 stand for?

Thanks, Oliver
bowjijohn wrote on AfricaHunting.com's profile.
Many thanks for re formatting my article for the forum

I served my time in both the bush and during the bush war

I hope it did it justice

Education is where it is at - without it the wild places are history

You - sir - are well placed to make a difference

J
 
Top