on a lighter note...

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    The wedding ceremony came to the point where the Minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand and talk or forever hold their peace.

    The moment of silence was broken by a stunning young woman carrying an infant, walking slowly towards the pastor.

    The Groom’s jaw dropped as he stared at the approaching young woman and child.

    The bride threw the bouquet in the air and began sobbing.

    The Bride’s mother fainted.

    The Best man started wondering how best to save the situation.

    The Minister asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward?”

    She replied "We can't hear at the back."
     
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  2. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    You're sitting comfortable at home relaxing after a hard day's work. Suddenly 20 people you don't know climb your fence, knock down your door, let themselves in and plop down in your living room. They help themselves to the food in your fridge, tell you you need to take their sick ones to the doctor and pay for it. After you've done that you need to enroll their kids in the local public school or college and buy their clothes and supplies. Oh, by the way, they plan on staying with you indefinitely. So get used to it! How does one feel? Sneaking into the US does not make one an immigrant anymore than breaking into somebody's house makes you a part of their family..
     

  3. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    IMG-20180816-WA0000.jpg
     

  4. Bullthrower338

    Bullthrower338 AH ENABLER AH Legend

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  5. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    ohshit.jpg
     
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  6. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    school.jpg
     
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  7. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    quietone.jpeg
     
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  8. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    shampoo.jpg
     

  9. Sand Rat

    Sand Rat AH Fanatic

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  10. BWH

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  11. Bullthrower338

    Bullthrower338 AH ENABLER AH Legend

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  12. BWH

    BWH AH ENABLER AH Legend

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    IMG_2581.JPG
     

  13. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

    He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

    When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

    The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

    The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is an Airborne Ranger, the other is a Navy Seal, both serving overseas somewhere. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

    The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

    The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.

    He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

    One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.

    All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

    When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

    The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

    "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I just joined the

    1 st Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

    "Hasn't affected my brothers though...
     
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  14. AustinL

    AustinL AH Veteran

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    D9DC9B87-4E65-4D90-BFC2-4895BDA4AFE6.jpeg Above the urinal at our local 4-H barn
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 20, 2018
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  15. Hoas

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  17. ArmyGrunt

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    Looks like a gut shot.....unethical bastards! I bet they even watched it suffer
     

  18. BigJohnx13

    BigJohnx13 AH Veteran

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    gemsbok.jpg
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 21, 2018
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  19. gizmo

    gizmo AH ENABLER SPONSOR Since 2015 AH Ambassador

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  20. Rob404

    Rob404 AH ENABLER BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    eb5b770698.jpg
     
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