on a lighter note...

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    I wore my PETA shirt to Cabela's. Got some strange looks until they read the fine print. I plan on wearing it to the next vegan convention.

    IMG_20180805_160107_01.jpg
     
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  2. Dr Ray

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    Very funny and enjoyable.
     

  3. cpr0312

    cpr0312 AH ENABLER AH Ambassador

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    38405321_2166936550187645_5624910073894535168_n.jpg
     
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  4. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Guy comes home after work and announces, "Pack your stuff. I hit the lottery". The wife says "Fantastic, where are we going"?
    The husband says "We're not going anywhere, you are."
     
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  5. Mekaniks

    Mekaniks GOLD SUPPORTER AH Elite

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    9493D162-1CE3-410D-B4D1-C59737C429D2.jpeg
     
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  6. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Lots of the newer cars have a Back-Up Sensor that warns the driver before the rear bumper actually comes in contact with something.
    Who invented this sensor? I bet you think it was Ford, maybe GM, how about Chrysler, No? then how about Mercedes Benz, or possibly the French or Italians? No. It was a Chinese farmer. His invention was simple and effective. It emits a high-pitch squeal before the vehicle backs into something.
    Here's his first prototype...




    backupsensor.jpeg
     
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  7. Brent in Az

    Brent in Az SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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  8. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    image(5).jpg
     
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  9. cpr0312

    cpr0312 AH ENABLER AH Ambassador

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  10. cpr0312

    cpr0312 AH ENABLER AH Ambassador

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    Well the correct term is cooking or grilling out if your from the south, but I'll let it slide because this is funny...

    FB_IMG_1533836502281.jpg
     

  11. Mike B

    Mike B AH Enthusiast

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    upload_2018-8-9_16-50-43.png
     
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  12. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    WTF???
     

  13. Mike B

    Mike B AH Enthusiast

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    Agreed. I just took the screenshot!
     

  14. cpr0312

    cpr0312 AH ENABLER AH Ambassador

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    A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

    The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

    She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"

    "I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

    "Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."

    The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."

    "I am, replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

    "Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."
     
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  15. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Probably a repeat but here goes.

    Mickey and Minnie are in divorce court. The judge states "I see here in your petition, you claim your spouse, Minnie, is mentally unbalanced and that is cause for divorce". Mickey replies "I didn't say she was nuts. I said she was fucking Goofy".
     
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  16. Brent in Az

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  17. Dudders

    Dudders AH Enthusiast

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    [​IMG]
     

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  18. Dudders

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  19. Dudders

    Dudders AH Enthusiast

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  20. Mekaniks

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