on a lighter note...

th


Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara
opened a letter from home one evening.
Inside the letter was a
$100 bill her parents had sent.
Sister Barbara smiled at the
gesture.
As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a
shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.
Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. - Sister Barbara," on a piece
of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed
it out the window to him.

The stranger picked it up, and with a
puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.
The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door,
insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting.
Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.
"What's this?"
she asked.

"That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied.
"Don't Despair paid
80-to-1.”

th
 

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IRISH ALZHEIMERS

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church.

So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."
 
This is sick but what the hell.

A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high bridge, about to jump off.

An old homeless guy who was wandering by stopped and said,
"Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"
She screamed, "NO! Bug off you filthy old bastard!"
He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay then, I'll just go and wait at the bottom”.
She didn't jump.


Object lesson: Suicide counseling really does work!
 
Sounds like South Africa


A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks. The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing.
Finally, he approached the workers and asked, “I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one of you digs a hole, and then the other guy immediately fills it back up again.
One of the city workers explained, “The third guy who plants the trees is off sick today.”
 
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I laughed so hard at this I almost pissed my pants! My buddy sent it to me and knows this guy. I really hope he was just joking....o_O
 
I laughed so hard at this I almost pissed my pants! My buddy sent it to me and knows this guy. I really hope he was just joking....o_O

If he was not joking; STAY OUT OF THE WOODS THE DAYS HE IS HUNTING!
 

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