on a lighter note...

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. observe

    observe AH ENABLER CONTRIBUTOR AH Legend

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    april fool
    85190340_205787947233818_2303190527605997568_n.jpg
     
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  2. observe

    observe AH ENABLER CONTRIBUTOR AH Legend

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  3. observe

    observe AH ENABLER CONTRIBUTOR AH Legend

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  4. observe

    observe AH ENABLER CONTRIBUTOR AH Legend

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  5. observe

    observe AH ENABLER CONTRIBUTOR AH Legend

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  6. observe

    observe AH ENABLER CONTRIBUTOR AH Legend

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  7. ArmyGrunt

    ArmyGrunt AH Elite

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  8. Timbo

    Timbo AH Fanatic

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    Subject: The Golf Book

    I have written a book and am quite proud of the results and, in order to market the publication, I'm asking friends and family to spread the news about this essential read. This book on golf gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my 30+ years of golfing experience.

    Highlights include:

    Chapter 1) How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt

    Chapter 2) How to Hit a Maxfli ball from the Rough When You Just Hit a Titleist from the Tee

    Chapter 3) How to Get More Distance off the Shank

    Chapter 4) When to Give the Curator the Finger

    Chapter 5) Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 09:00

    Chapter 6) How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water

    Chapter 7) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three off the Tee

    Chapter 8) How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five off the Tee

    Chapter 9) When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

    The book also includes some GOLF TERMINOLOGY
    A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
    A Diego Maradonna - a nasty 5 footer
    A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
    A Philip Schofield - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
    A Cuban - needs one more revolution
    An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
    An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
    A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
    A Kate Moss - bit thin
    A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
    A Brazilian - Just shaved the hole
    A Rodney King - overclubbed
    An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
    A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
    A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
    A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
    An Elephant's arse - high and shitty
    A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good
    A Sister-in-law – you’re up there but you know you shouldn't be!

    I have copies in stock but I anticipate a rush so be quick and ensure you don't miss out!

    Please pass this information to anyone who you feel may benefit from my expertise.
     

  9. Timbo

    Timbo AH Fanatic

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    Screenshot_20200218-171728_WhatsApp.jpg
     
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  10. Fred Gunner

    Fred Gunner AH Fanatic

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  11. Red Leg

    Red Leg AH ENABLER LIFETIME BRONZE BENEFACTOR AH Legend

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    All anyone needs to know about golf .........
     
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  12. Timbo

    Timbo AH Fanatic

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    Yep!! I learnt all I know from Robin's tutelage!! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
     
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  13. Wheels

    Wheels AH ENABLER AH Ambassador

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    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

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  14. observe

    observe AH ENABLER CONTRIBUTOR AH Legend

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    :whistle:
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  15. observe

    observe AH ENABLER CONTRIBUTOR AH Legend

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  16. observe

    observe AH ENABLER CONTRIBUTOR AH Legend

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  17. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Ambassador

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    Oldie but goodie.

    The Sneeze
    A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane..
    The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
    The man went back to his reading.
    A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.
    Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
    Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"
    "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
    The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"
    The woman nodded, "Pepper."
     

  18. Brent in Az

    Brent in Az AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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  19. CAustin

    CAustin AH ENABLER BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Ambassador

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  20. Rob404

    Rob404 AH ENABLER BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Legend

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