I really have little patience with that sort of sermonizing. Yes, civilians are paying a terrible price because Ukraine was invaded by a powerful neighbor. And rather than simply submit to being vassals of Putin, those civilians who could took up arms to defend their right to self determination. Others have kept their economy going. Like during the Blitz in Britain, still others have risked and too often lost their lives fighting fires, repairing electric and water infrastructure, and searching for survivors in shattered apartment buildings left by Russian cruise missiles and drones. Still others were tortured and murdered by Russian troops who have too often behaved like barbarians.
Yes, they are paying a terrible price and yet support for their battle not to become slaves of the Russian state remains overwhelming. To date they have totally frustrated Russian war aims. They have retaken large swaths of territory initially seized, preserved their capital and are preparing a major counteroffensive.
The Ukrainian people, like others throughout history have decided to not go away quietly into the darkness. It is the sort of crucible, like the American Revolution, upon which a nation can truly be formed. I believe they are absolutely winning.