on a lighter note...

My grandmother had a green Amazon parrot. This thing hated my gut. One day this parrot tricked me, and while I was petting her, she almost took my finger. Well, I punched this parrot, and from then on we were best of friends. I took advantage of this friendship and taught this parrot every curse word I knew. You should have seen my grandmother’s face when this bird said a perfect sentence with about 4 curse words in it. I got grounded for two weeks for that, but at the end my grandmother enjoyed how vocal the parrot was with her new and improved vocabulary.
Aunt Emily's husband died a few weeks ago and the house was so quiet she had trouble adapting. Her husband was always talking to her, or his friends on the phone so this made it doubly hard. One of her friends suggested she get a couple parrots and maybe listening to them all day would break up the silence. She went to the local pet store where two female parrots were in a cage and for sale. She explained the situation and the store owner advised her that these parrots were from a tavern in the local port and their vocabulary was a little on the salty side. She decided to purchase them anyway, took them home and without fail they started cursing up a blue streak. Later that day, Father McMullen stopped by to look in on her and was shocked at what he was hearing. He related that he had two male parrots that were very devout, prayed the bible and said the rosary every day. He told her maybe if he took her parrots and put them in with his, they would get a better vocabulary and rid themselves of their foul language habit. He takes the cage back to the rectory and his two parrots, Moses and Jerramiah are in the cage, Moses has a miniature bible in his feet, turning the pages and reading passages and Jerramiah is going through the beads on his rosary saying Hail Marys and Our Fathers.
Father opens the cage and puts the two female parrots in with his. One of them blurts out "Hi boys.
We're a couple of wild women and we like whiskey in our water and getting naked and ****** all night long". Moses drops the bible, looks at Jerramiah and says "Jerry, throw away those rosary beads. Our prayers have been answered".
 
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Fish should not be cut with a knife
 
Ok, I'm going to call this out as BS, on reposting previously posted memes. If anyone can't post an original meme, don't post a previous meme to gain points. It is totally immoral and unethical. And you will not get a response from me. Period!!! This has gone on way too long and the celebration of this thread on hitting over 1000 has been degraded by the fact there has been too many repost of meme by members wanting or feeling they need to gain higher ratings!! This needs to stop!!
 

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Sir, I think I have been writing to you about the purchase of the HK 639 rifle under an email "Tt Jake." If this is you, then I am truly interested. I am just trying to verify identify. Tt Jake is asking for a cash transaction. No disrespect intended, Just trying to verify who I am talking to. Thank you. Respectfully. Dan
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Hey my friend, I am returning to SA for a Cape Buffalo hunt in June 26. My outfitter has suggested Highveld but I have read some poor reports. Wondering how satisfied you were with your mounts from them? Thanks in advance.
Finally back to somewhat normal I missed reading the messages and posts
Remember I will be at the ISE show in Denver Colorado for 8-12 January, and after the show I will be available for meetings anywhere in the USA I will traveling around to meet with old and new clients, let me know and we will set up a meeting!
 
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