Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.
In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after r which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.
Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down.
The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Dan couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.
Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made h is way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
For my Canadian friends.
The Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a
separate "OFF LIMITS" area on all aircraft carriers.
While addressing all personnel at Pearl Harbor, the Admiral advised, "Female sleeping quarters will be "out-of-bounds" for all males.
Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $50."
And the Admiral continued, "Anyone caught breaking this rule a
second time will be fined $150.
Being caught a third time will cost you $500."
Are there any questions?"
At this point, a US Marine from the security detail assigned to a ship stood up
in the crowd and inquired: "Sir, How much for a season pass, Sir ?"
Gotta know the Will Ferrell movies
While enjoying their evening cocktails, the wife asks her husband, in a very seductive voice,"Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?"
"No," said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a silky bra, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.
He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.
She then asked him, "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"
"Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her panties... and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.
He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
"Now," she said, "have you ever seen $50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"
He said, …."No!," trying to hide his anticipation.
She said, "Better check the garage."
During the Middle Ages, a group of Germanic dwarves, known as the "Rounge People," attempted to prank the peasantry by having one of the little rascals stand on another's shoulders, donning armor, and trying to pass themselves off as true warriors. This failed, because everybody knew that two Rounges don't make a knight.
The US Navy have been helping in Hong Kong according to CCN.
Weatherman caught faking wind strength as two guys casually stroll behind him...
And the media is confused about why the public might question their veracity....
Separate names with a comma.