Sperm Count

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by Charles de Ribeau, Jul 8, 2019.

  1. Charles de Ribeau

    Charles de Ribeau AH Veteran

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    An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

    The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

    The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
     
    BeeMaa, JimP, Philip Glass and 6 others like this.

  2. PHOENIX PHIL

    PHOENIX PHIL AH ENABLER AH Ambassador

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    Nice! :ROFLMAO:
     

  3. K E Johnson

    K E Johnson AH Member

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    OK, along those lines.

    65 year old man goes in for a physical. Dr. says he is in good shape but wants some family history.

    Dr. asks, "how long did your father live?" Man replies, "who said my father is dead ?He is out turkey hunting right now. Right where I want to be."

    Dr. replies, "OK, OK, How long did your Grandpa live to be?" Man replies, "Who said my Grandpa is dead? He is out hunting with my dad, where I would like to be."

    Dr. replies, "OK, OK, OK, How long did your Great Grandpa live? Man replies, "who said my Great Grandpa is dead? He isn't turkey hunting because he just got married."

    Dr. asks, "Why would a man of that advanced age want to get married?" Man replies, "Who said he wanted to get married?'
     

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