on a lighter note...

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I was in the Lowe's parking lot Saturday and was approached by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple bucks to buy something to eat. Apprehensive, I pulled a 10 from my wallet. I then said, "If I give you this money, are you buy beer instead of food?" He replied, "No, I stopped drinking years ago". "Are you going to spend it on green fees at a golf course... instead of food?" "Are you NUTS!," replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" So I told him, "I'm not going to give you money." Instead, I'm going to take you to my house for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded and said, "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?" I quickly replied, "That's okay, she needs to see for herself what a man looks like "after" he has given up drinking "and" golf."
 
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I’m not normally one to share family business but I'm not saying which relative…but a relative just called and asked if I would loan her $300.00 to help her pay her rent. Those who know me, know that I'm always willing to help out friends and family. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back. Before I called her back, her brother called and told me that my relative was lying and not to give her the money. He goes on to say that the real reason my relative wanted the $300.00 was to get her boyfriend out of jail so she could be under the same roof as him for his birthday. I thought about it for a minute and decided to give her the $300.00 because we all need help at times. So, I called my relative and told her to come and get the money. A couple of hours later, I get a call from the County jail. It was my relative crying, screaming and asking why I gave her counterfeit money. My response...so you and your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday!
If you laughed, your other friends may want to laugh too. Go ahead and steal this...I did!!
 

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