on a lighter note...

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When You're 70 & a Veteran

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches . . . but when you’re seventy -- who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah -- She's pretty good lookin' . . . . . . "
When you’re seventy -- who cares?
***********

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but when you’re seventy -- who cares?
**********

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then . . . try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but when you’re seventy -- who cares?
*********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re seventy -- who cares?
 
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channelkat wrote on NMAmateurHunter's profile.
FYI we need NM members! Please spread the word and join us if you can make it.
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observe wrote on NZ Jack's profile.
Jerome, do you think my last post in rough camping must maybe shift as an article?
rayford445 wrote on Hunter-Habib's profile.
Good afternoon,

I'm trying to get in contact with Mr Butch Searcy. I have the opportunity to buy one of his rifles chambered in 577 nitro Express however the seller does not have any of the paperwork with the information about what ammunition or bullet weight was used to regulate it. I know he is not making firearms anymore but I wanted to reach out after seeing one of your post about him.
Daryl S wrote on mgstucson's profile.
Hi - the only (best) method of sending you the .375/06IMP data is with photographing my book notes. My camera died so the only way I can do it is with my phone. To do that, I would need your e-mail address, as this
new Android phone is too complicated to upload to my desk computer, which would be easier and to down-grade, reduce the file sizes.
Best wishes
Daryl
 
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