on a lighter note...

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When You're 70 & a Veteran

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches . . . but when you’re seventy -- who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah -- She's pretty good lookin' . . . . . . "
When you’re seventy -- who cares?
***********

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but when you’re seventy -- who cares?
**********

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then . . . try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but when you’re seventy -- who cares?
*********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re seventy -- who cares?
 
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Catchaser wrote on Philip Glass's profile.
Phillip I was reviewing some of the auctions online and saw your Nubian Ibex hunt coming up this weekend. It also showed you have Addax and Axis deer. Is there a website I can go to and see the lodge, cost of animals and what is available? Thanks Mark
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Appreciate your Limcroma/Franco comments. Will be seeing him in April....again. great person as well as his family (he has a new born son). I will always recommend him who makes a hunt special and exciting. Marc
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I really like that knife you're selling. It looks so similar to my original 1306 that has been around a long time. I can't spend that much but if you get to a point where you'd entertain offers let me know. Thx, James
 
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