on a lighter note...

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When You're 70 & a Veteran

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches . . . but when you’re seventy -- who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah -- She's pretty good lookin' . . . . . . "
When you’re seventy -- who cares?
***********

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but when you’re seventy -- who cares?
**********

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then . . . try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but when you’re seventy -- who cares?
*********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re seventy -- who cares?
 
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USN
Please a prayer request due to Michael Sipple being mauled by a Cape buffalo.

Bayly Sipple Safaris on FB for company statement.
SETH RINGER wrote on Fatback's profile.
IF YOU DON'T COME UP WITH ANY .458, I WILL TRY AND GET MY KID TO PACK SOME UP FOR YOU BUT PROBABLY WOUDN'T BE TILL THIS WEEKEND AND GO OUT NEXT WEEK.
PURA VIDA, SETH
sgtsabai wrote on Sika98k's profile.
I'm unfortunately on a diet. Presently in VA hospital as Agent Orange finally caught up with me. Cancer and I no longer can speak. If all goes well I'll be out of here and back home in Thailand by end of July. Tough road but I'm a tough old guy. I'll make it that hunt.
sgtsabai wrote on Wyfox's profile.
Nice one there. I guided for mulies and elk for about 10 or so years in northern New Mexico.
 
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