1dirthawker
AH elite
Virus Life
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
I used to spin the toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.
I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.
Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter . . . . the Living Room or the Bedroom.
Helpful hint: Ever few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job!
I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into the house, told my dog-we laughed a lot.
Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business!
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
I’m so excited - it’s time to take out the garbage. What to wear, what to wear?
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyardia. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroomia.
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks women with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year. I’m totally offended!
Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under!
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
I used to spin the toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.
I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.
Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter . . . . the Living Room or the Bedroom.
Helpful hint: Ever few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job!
I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into the house, told my dog-we laughed a lot.
Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business!
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
I’m so excited - it’s time to take out the garbage. What to wear, what to wear?
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyardia. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroomia.
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks women with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year. I’m totally offended!
Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under!
