When they ask me if I want a bag I tell them no. Have one at home doing the dishesGuy in the gift shop takes his purchase up to the cashier. She rings it up, he pays and she asks him if he'd like a bag. He replies "No, thanks, I got rid of her a long time ago."
Now I need to take a bath....Probably a repeat but still funny.
A cabbie picks up a nun for a last night fare. As they ride along he makes small talk and then admits he always wondered what it would be like to kiss a nun. The nun replies that could happen but only if he was single and Catholic. He says "I am" and they pull in to the next alley. He stops, they both get out of the cab and the nun throws a lip lock on him that would do justice to a lady of the night. They both get back in the cab and in a few moments, the cabbie starts sobbing. The nun asks him if something is troubling him. He says yes. I lied. I'm not single and I'm not Catholic. I'm Jewish and I'm married. The nun shoots back. Don't worry, I lied too. My name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party.