Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.
Magic for dummies....
The 12 commandments of growing old...
So you know you're growing old when "one for the road" means taking a pee before you leave.
#1 - Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.
#2 - Consider "in style" to be the clothes that still fit.
#3 - You don't need anger management, you just need people to stop pissing you off.
#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."
#6 - These days, "on time" is when you get there.
#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound.
#8 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
#9 - Lately, you've noticed people your age look so much older than you.
#10 - You thought growing old would take a lot longer.
#11 - Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.
#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.
Separate names with a comma.