on a lighter note...

[CBH Australia]

 

[spike.t]

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Royal Dublin Society Spring Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully in the next election, you can't always hear the bells.

If you don’t send this on, you’re chicken.

 

[spike.t]

 

[spike.t]

 

[Dudders]

Holidays are coming

 

[gillettehunter]

Liam O’Toole applied for a forklift job at an Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job, and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test. They were led by the manager to a quiet room with no interruptions. When the test results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

The manager went to O’Toole and said, “Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to hire the Norwegian.”

“And why would you be doing that?” replied O’Toole. “We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish, surely I should be the one to get the job?”

The manager responded, “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.”

“And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?”

“That’s simple,” the boss man replied. “On question number 7, the Norwegian wrote ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, ‘Neither do I.’”

 

[gillettehunter]

LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN!!
The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30” she said proudly, “my sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.” “Very good”, said the teacher.
Little Debbie was next. “I sold magazines” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.” “Very good, Debbie”, said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467”, he said. “$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?” Toothbrushes”, said Little Johnny. “Toothbrushes”, echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”
“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample.” They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog sh_t!” Then I would say, “It is dog sh_t. Wanna buy a toothbrush? I used the President Biden method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it’s free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth.”
Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment. Bless his heart.

 

[sgt_zim]

scroll to about 4:55

 

[sgt_zim]

"Who gave you a nickel?"

 

[nztimb]

Museum Gave Artist $84K for Artwork, He Delivered Blank Canvases Called ‘Take the Money and Run’​

A Danish artist received $84,000 from a museum to use for a piece, but when he delivered the artwork it was not what had been promised, CBS News reported Thursday.

Artist Jens Haaning presented the Kunsten Museum of Modern Art in Aalborg, Denmark, with two blank canvases and explained they were called “Take the Money and Run.”

The report continued:

Haaning was asked to recreate two of his previous works: 2010’s “An Average Danish Annual Income” and “An Average Austrian Annual Income,” first exhibited in 2007. Both used actual cash to show the average incomes of the two countries, according to a news release from the artist.

In addition to compensation for the work, Haaning was also give bank notes to use in the work, museum director Lasse Andersson told CBS News via email. Their contract even stated the museum would give Haaning an additional 6,000 euros to update the work, if needed, Andersson said. At the time the works were initially exhibited, the Danish piece highlighted the average income of 328,000 kroner, approximately $37,800, while the average Austrian salary illustrated was around €25,000, or $29,000.

 

[375 Ruger Fan]

Museum Gave Artist $84K for Artwork, He Delivered Blank Canvases Called ‘Take the Money and Run’​

A Danish artist received $84,000 from a museum to use for a piece, but when he delivered the artwork it was not what had been promised, CBS News reported Thursday.

Artist Jens Haaning presented the Kunsten Museum of Modern Art in Aalborg, Denmark, with two blank canvases and explained they were called “Take the Money and Run.”

The report continued:

This is taking "The Hunter Biden art scam" to a new level.

 

[sgt_zim]

fools and their money are soon parted.

 

[Big5]

 

[jeanes]

 

[spike.t]

 

[spike.t]

 

[spike.t]

 

[Divernhunter]

for your viewing pleasure

 

[Vashper]

 

[Randy F]