on a lighter note...

classic_paintings_mash_up_surprising_well_with_hip_hop_lyrics_25_photos19_1404088839.jpg
 
Late snow here in Ludifisk Land today,,which surprised me since this usually happens in May
 
WHY GRANDPAS ARE DIFFERENT

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked.

Not really, PaPa, it was boring.......

We didn't see a single asshole, piece of shit, horse's ass, socialist left wing Obama lover, blind bastard, dip shit, Muslim camel humper or son of a bitch anywhere we went!" We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn't have any fun.

'Almost'.....brings a tear to your eye
 
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotch-less panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times that her husband finally asks, "Are you wearing crotch-less panties?" "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile. "Thank God - I thought you were sitting on the cat." He never heard the shot.
 
Because of my rather distinct Chicago accent When I took a job as the Chef at a downtown hotel in Minneapolis the Wait Staff was afraid to come in the kitchen
 
A Irishman, Scotsman and British man all walk into a bar. They each order a Guinness and are about to drink it, when, at the exact same time three flies land into each gentleman's' drink.

The British man declares 'That is disgusting!" and walks out the the bar.

The Scotsman calmly picks the fly up, tosses it on the ground and takes a sip of his drink.

The Irishman roughly grabs the fly by the wings, looks it in the eyes and loudly yells "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT NOW!"
 

Forum statistics

Threads
66,430
Messages
1,469,499
Members
140,769
Latest member
EmeryConne
 

 

 

Latest posts

Latest profile posts

Been away for a while, glad to be back
A Frame66 wrote on Marcus bock's profile.
Hi Marcus
I'll 2nd limcroma! Booked 2nd trip at SCI last week. Those guys are great. Trying to get hooked up with Peter when he gets to the states if I can break away.
roklok wrote on SkullKeeper's profile.
What sling studs do those swivels fit ? They look to be quite a bit wider than the standard modern swivels. They may be just what I need for my Remington 30 Express wide swivel studs. Can you measure the pin diameter ?
Safari Dave wrote on Boardwalk72's profile.
Do you know where your .240 Weatherby was manufactured?
Culling old sable cow with bow!

 
Top