on a lighter note...

PENSION SEX

Two men were talking.
"So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex."
"Pension sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

Sounds like the version I heard about "Hall Sex". When you have been married sooo long and you pass each other in the hall and say "Scr#w you!! no, Scr#w You!!!"
 
I had an uncle who proudly stated, "if woman didn't have them we'd be hunting them with dogs". Not my statement, don't hate the messenger :)
if they didn't have that there would be a bounty on them
 
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Ooo Heaven is a place on earth
Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s Irv. ‘So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?’ Sid asks. ‘Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back to sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex, take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep and wake up the next day.’ ‘Oh, my God,’ says Sid. ‘So that’s what heaven is like?’ ‘Oh no,’ says Irv. ‘I’m not in heaven. I’m a bear in Yellowstone park
 
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I've seen that one boasted as a Redneck process. At least he has a female to hold the one part??

I think that's a female....[emoji16]
 

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Sir, I think I have been writing to you about the purchase of the HK 639 rifle under an email "Tt Jake." If this is you, then I am truly interested. I am just trying to verify identify. Tt Jake is asking for a cash transaction. No disrespect intended, Just trying to verify who I am talking to. Thank you. Respectfully. Dan
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