Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ...."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend, he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!"
The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord...?" Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last, they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...."
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
I guess this is what you get when you misspell “crocs” when ordering footwear! They might not let you board the flight with them on either!
One man is going to go to the weekend with friends, to work out with their COP dogs. Friends come over:
"- Look, problem! we don't buy the quail! You have kind of parrot , let's keep him!".
"- What do you mean, it's wife's favorite parrot! If anything happens to him, she'll kill me!".
"- Well, he's in the cage, nothing will happens to him".
They took a cage with a parrot and left.
Come back on Sunday evening. The wife, of course, threw her husband a scandal. Parrot after experienced stress sitting in a cage is sad, scowled. Wife said to him, " Poor Daddy, where have you been? What do you heard ?".
Parrot, loudly: "Down, f... your mother!!!"
About all they are good for at times
Sadly, I think the poor bastard is Irish (Garda)
Then somebody is likely drunk!
It's the horse!
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