How my first African Safari ended an abusive relationship..

[Betterinthebush]

..metaphorically speaking, of course.

In my limited, yet varied, hunting career, I’ve been trapped in a love/hate relationship. Voluntarily, I admit it..I signed up for it. There’s no one to blame but me.

The former love interest’s name is “Alaska”. But I’ll just call her by her new name. “That Bitch”.

For years I tried to understand, accommodate, adapt to and be a solid partner with her. In return she made me fear to go to sleep at night without a light on. Oh, I tried to reconcile and reason with her. But That Bitch always had it in for me. I’d kill a moose and she’d send a plane that had an engine failure on take-off..with me in it. I’d have a client take a 65” moose and she’d send me 18” of beaver dam bursting rain without warning downriver to me. I’d see brown bear everywhere around camp for days, reporting as much to my master guide, so as to reassure the incoming client that I’m on top of things. And what did That Bitch do? Sent a freak inland gale from the coast right on top of me for three days. Then another three days of fog down to the deck. When the client arrived I had four days to produce. That Bitch... oh! There’s more! But, you get the idea.

Then she walks into my life. Africa. Sexy, dark, mysterious, full of life. (Sigh) I was weak. I went to her. And I shall never be the same.

I’ve a Namibia hunting report I’ll file, but (as you can read), I’ve got some issues I have to resolve first.

 

[Green Chile]

As someone who lived in Alaska for years and worked all over the Bush...I will just say you will often see me writing about Africa and very little about Alaska hunting. Let's just say I know what you mean...

 

[Betterinthebush]

@Green Chile, yup. Thanks for understanding. Never know how writing will be received. I love Alaska, always will. She’s just…

 

[Wooster]

I'm about to head north to go out with your ex. Thanks for the warning. Good to know in advance that she's crazy.

 

[AZDAVE]

Alaska is a fickle mistress on a good day and a stone cold wench in league with Mr Murphy on others.

But Africa and Alaska are the two places on this planet when I set foot in them the earth says "WELCOME HOME"

 

[Green Chile]

Well said Dave. Both are home to me and very special. There is no place like Africa or Alaska for those who love the outdoors.

 

[Ontario Hunter]

..metaphorically speaking, of course.

In my limited, yet varied, hunting career, I’ve been trapped in a love/hate relationship. Voluntarily, I admit it..I signed up for it. There’s no one to blame but me.

The former love interest’s name is “Alaska”. But I’ll just call her by her new name. “That Bitch”.

For years I tried to understand, accommodate, adapt to and be a solid partner with her. In return she made me fear to go to sleep at night without a light on. Oh, I tried to reconcile and reason with her. But That Bitch always had it in for me. I’d kill a moose and she’d send a plane that had an engine failure on take-off..with me in it. I’d have a client take a 65” moose and she’d send me 18” of beaver dam bursting rain without warning downriver to me. I’d see brown bear everywhere around camp for days, reporting as much to my master guide, so as to reassure the incoming client that I’m on top of things. And what did That Bitch do? Sent a freak inland gale from the coast right on top of me for three days. Then another three days of fog down to the deck. When the client arrived I had four days to produce. That Bitch... oh! There’s more! But, you get the idea.

Then she walks into my life. Africa. Sexy, dark, mysterious, full of life. (Sigh) I was weak. I went to her. And I shall never be the same.

I’ve a Namibia hunting report I’ll file, but (as you can read), I’ve got some issues I have to resolve first.

You must like big butts. Most of the gals I see at Joberg airport would cover 2.5 bar stools.