Wow what a great laugh I had out of this! Certainly @BRICKBURN is more of a meal than I am anyway! A good old fashioned Darwinian tale...So, BRICKBURN and JEROME decide to go on a quick Lion hunt together. They were hunting PG at a very remote area in Zimbabwe when the outfitter announced that there was a Problem Lion killing cattle and goats in nearby villages and had to be taken out! Of course, being the super hero hunters that they are, they jumped at the chance. The problem was that they didn't have a suitable rifle for the deed, so had to borrow an OLD and almost shot out rifle from a village Chief.
So, undaunted they set off with this rifle and the only 2x cartridges available. BRICKBURN boasted of his shooting talents and said only ONE cartridge would be required. SKEPTICAL JEROME decided to let old Brickies do the deed and followed closely behind.
Wasn't too long and they picked up the lion spoor. The outfitter's Fox Terrier had also decided to join in the action and was panting along with them.
Suddenly, after a few hours HOT AND THIRSTY tracking of said Lion, JEROME halted abruptly and pointed into some thick bush ahead of them... There's the lion he whispered to BRICKIES...SHOOT!!!
EVER dapper, BRICKIES aimed and let fly.
Well, a soft bang and fizzle saw the projectile pop out the end of the barrel and hit the dirt a few yards in front of them. Time for the second shot, he thought, as JEROME now cowered directly behind him, hoping against all hope that the angry Lion would not spot him behind BRICKIES larger frame.
The second shot fired... AND WORKED better, BUT NOT MUCH BETTER!! The projectile exited the barrel and managed to reach the lion( who had now tuned tail and about to make his escape) giving it a resounding slap on the butt. Hair splatted in all directions, the projectile only leaving a stinging bruise from the dull impact.
Now REALLY angry, the Lion spun around and charged at the shaking hunters, who, as if on cue, spun 180° abd set off at pace for the tree line, about 100m away.
First BRICKIES was in front...then JEROME was in front...then the Fox Terrier was in front...and so on!
JEROME, being of slimmer build and having done way more gym etc back stateside than BRICKIES had, was soon catching up to BRICKIES and the Foxy.
The lion was gaining on all three of them...JEROME spurted ahead and took the lead. As luck would have it, JEROME tripped on and old Mopani root and flew to the ground in a pile of dust and foul language. BRICKIES, now gasping for African air took the lead again. The Foxy was giving BRICKIES a run for his money.
JERONE sat up, winded from his spectacular fall to Mother Africa, and stared at the horrifying sight of the snarling lion approaching his position at a rapid rate of knots. In total panic now, he grabbed a fistful of African dirt and flung it into the Lion's eyes just before he leapt to seize hold of this apparition that had so rudely slapped his butt. The lion skidded to a dramatic halt, sitting on it's haunches and wiping the dirt out of it's eyes!
The ever vigilant JEROME saw the gap, jumped up and sprinted for the trees.
Seeking out the stoutest and easiest to climb in haste, he arrived just as BRICKIES collapsed in a heap at the base of the tree. Resting his back against the tree trunk, BRICKIES sucked in as much of this African air that he could and watched as JEROME shimmied up the tree.
The Foxy was nowhere to be seen...
JEROME scrambled up the trunk and reached the highest branch, just as the now really pissed off lion started his attack anew.
Quickly shouted JEROME down to BRICKIES...get up the tree before that Lion gets here and eats you up!
Uhh Uhh.. grunted BRICKIES in reply...it wasn't ME that threw sand in his eyes!!!!!