simple truths

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by bluey, Aug 15, 2015.

  1. bluey

    bluey AH ENABLER AH Legend

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    SIMPLETRUTH # 1 Lovers help each otherundress before sex.
    However after sex, they always dress on their own.

    Simple Truth, In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.



    SIMPLE TRUTH #2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats."
    But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job."

    Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.


    FIVE Other Simple Truths 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's morecomfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

    2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the jerk's name.

    3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

    4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then neither does milk or water.


    Bonus Truth Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.
    A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.



    Hope this brightens your day...
     
    ArmyGrunt, matt85, gizmo and 12 others like this.

  2. JustinC

    JustinC AH Fanatic

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  3. Ado

    Ado AH Veteran

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    Eagles may fly high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!

    Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine!

    Ado
     

  4. K-man

    K-man AH Elite

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    Good Job Bluey. That just made my morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     

  5. Rob404

    Rob404 AH ENABLER BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Thanks Bluey
     

  6. Nyati

    Nyati AH ENABLER AH Ambassador

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  7. Mr. 16 gauge

    Mr. 16 gauge AH Fanatic

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    Thanks Bluey!(y)
     

  8. Witold Krzyżanowski

    Witold Krzyżanowski AH ENABLER AH Legend

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    I like it Bluey. The honest truth.
    Witold
     

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