on a lighter note...

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This will never be a DIY project!View attachment 445431
A few years back I was visiting an old friend. Looking out his kitchen window I saw a bird feeder hanging by a chain but had a string attached running to the window. I presumed it was to pull it over for easy refilling. Nope. With a big grin he said he used the string to pull the bird feeder away when a squirrel would jump to land on the bird feeder. Mr or Mrs squirrel would find themselves in mid air with no landing place probably 6 foot off the ground. I never got to see this in action but the mental picture killed me for days.
 
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Philadelphia Eagles. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Eagles go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says. "You are no longer my son!" "I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans.
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Philadelphia!
 

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