on a lighter note...

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[Vashper]

the cat tells his friends: "my mistress has a little black dress... and a little red dress... and a little colored dress... and in general, after the winter, she did not fit into one of her dresses."

I told this joke to my wife, she said: "what a disgusting cat."

 

[Hogpatrol]

Over seventy, who cares?

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.

This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re over seventy.............who cares?

**********

I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”;
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you’re over seventy.............who cares?

***********

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”;
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”;
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re over seventy.............who cares?
**********

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
*********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re over seventy.............who cares?
**********

I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
When you’re over seventy.............who cares?


I probably posted this before. When you’re over seventy.............who cares?

 

[Newboomer]

View attachment 424483

Aaaand then he woke up in ICU.

 

[jpr9954]

 

[spike.t]

 

[spike.t]

 

[Hogpatrol]

 

[Randy F]

 

[jpr9954]

Shortiban?

 

[425SCHADE]

Shortiban?

View attachment 424697

F*%&king Gold !!!

 

[WAB]

Shortiban?

View attachment 424697

He’s a angry elf!

 

[Mort Hill]

He’s a angry elf!

Say it again. I dare you. Say it one more time!

 

[Mo-hntr]

He’s a angry elf!

With a short fuse

 

[cpr0312]

 

[jpr9954]

 

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[Petey J]

View attachment 424872

Heck, @Boyd Brooks, I’m not even 40 and have done all those things (except it wasn’t a transistor radio).

But then again, I’ve pretty much been an old man since I was 16.