on a lighter note...

[Scott CWO]

Makes me wonder if this poor guy lived?!

 

[Hogpatrol]

Chester sent his dog out to see if there were any ducks in the pond. "If there aren't many ducks out there, I'm not going hunting". The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there".

Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?"

Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it. There really are only two ducks out there! Where did you get that dog?"

Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want one, you can get one from him"

So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks.

Minutes later the dog returns shaking its head with a stick in its mouth, and starts humping Earl's leg.

Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!"?

The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back shaking its head with a stick in its mouth, and started humping his leg.

The breeder says, "Earl, dogs can't talk. He was trying to tell you there are more f...... ducks out there than you can shake a stick at".

 

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[Tom Hawk]

 

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[Hogpatrol]

 

[Bullthrower338]

 

[Brent in Az]

[emoji3]

 

[cpr0312]

Pretty much sums it up!! But wouldn't change it though!!

 

[lwaters]

Had to post this

 

[JimP]

 

[Hogpatrol]

 

[John J]

Did you get her phone number? [emoji38]

No phone number but a few bucks for a pic.

 

[1dirthawker]

A wonderful historical short story.



In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.

After welcoming his replacement, and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet Captain Smithers, my right-hand man. God, he's really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."


Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than five feet tall.


"Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."


"Well, sir, I graduated with honors from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after 3 expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and won a Silver Medal in the boxing middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of......."


Here the colonel interrupted.


"Yes, yes; never mind that, Smithers; the CO can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you called the witch doctor a m----------r."

 

[Rob404]

 

[Rob404]

 

[ArmyGrunt]

 

[ArmyGrunt]

That close...but your one job was a failure yet again

 

[Newboomer]

A little old lady stopped by the receptionist's desk on her way back to her room. During the chat the receptionist asked her about dinner. The lady said it was shrimp skimpy. "Don't you mean shrimp scampi?" "No, they were pretty skimpy with the shrimp."

 

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