I guess my great uncle Shelton was an alcoholic--when he was cremated, he burned for three days...Reminds me of a story by Bernie Lubbers, The Whiskey Professor, told about his elderly dad who was, to be honest, a functioning alcoholic. He had to take him to the doctor and the doc asked his dad how much he drank. Dad said a quart. The doc was confused and asked if this was per month or what. The dad responded, "No. That's per day."
There was veteran at a doctor appointment. Him and a couple of other veterans, as with most other veterans, were complaining about how the various doctors always asked the same questions, from a form questionnaire.