on a lighter note...

[Hogpatrol]

 

[Lbarr265]

 

[cpr0312]

 

[Brent in Az]

K

 

[Rob404]

 

[Rob404]

 

[observe]

 

[observe]

 

[jacques smith]

Tear gas ain’t bad, but frags would get undivided attention

 

[Bullthrower338]

Tear gas ain’t bad, but frags would get undivided attention

Wish there was a double like button!

 

[Hogpatrol]

 

[Fred Gunner]

It Puts the Lotion on it's skin...or it gets the hose again...Merry Christmas Everyone

 

[mdwest]

Elf Enhanced Interrogation Techniques..

 

[Hogpatrol]

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.



PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

 

[Hogpatrol]

An Old Pilot's Wisdom...

I was the only speaker to show up, so I had the stage to myself.


I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit; and since I had plenty of time because those other guys didn't show, I threw it open for questions.


The last one asked was, "Can you give us a couple of your life's philosophical beliefs?"


I said, "That's an easy one. Looking back over my lifetime, I've spent most of my money on guns, airplanes, fast cars, women, and whiskey. The rest I just wasted."


I was escorted out without getting to finish my last two rules to live by:


1) If it flies, floats, or fucks, it's cheaper to rent it.


2) If it's got tits or tires, you're gonna have problems with it.


I hope they invite me back next year so I can finish. Kids nowadays really need to know this shit!

 

[Hogpatrol]

 

[observe]

 

[observe]

 

[ArmyGrunt]

View attachment 258255

Yet some of guys in my unit judge my mountain of bacon when we go to the buffet for breakfast. I'm saving my own life!

 

[1dirthawker]