Free Hunt for One Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

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Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound for sure
 
At my age, "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for.
 
A man walks into a zoo.

There is only one animal in the entire zoo and it is a dog.

It’s a shitzu.
 
I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms.
Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in it's mouth.
Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with that big ole frog in it's mouth, I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the delima was how to release this angry snake without getting bit.
Got it. I grabbed my trusty bottle of Jack Daniels and poured wiskey in it's mouth until it's eyes rolled back and it went limp.
I released the snake into the lake a went back to fishing with my new frog.
Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot.
It was that damn snake with two more frogs!!!
 
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
 
Hate driving in traffic

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Anybody know how to catch a bear?

1). Dig a big hole.
2). Fill the hole with ashes.
3). Line the rim of the hole with peas.
4). When the bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash-hole!!!
 
Check out the times on the trail cam pics.
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Poor quality pics, but you get the idea!
 
Reality:)


 

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My turn.

Politicians.jpg
 
Here is another one...

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How does a cow get out of the field?









It walks right....past..eur...ize
 
I heard this story from Alaskan bush pilot from when he was just starting out. He flew some guys who were returning to a place they had great luck hunting moose just the year before. A week later he went back to get them and to his surprise each one of these guys got trophy bulls like they did last year. While there were packing things on the plane he was a little concerned about the weight on takeoff. But the hunters assured him that the same thing happened last year and the plane was able to take off.

So the pilot used all of the lake he could and just managed to get the plane flying. He struggled to gain altitude and unfortunately was not able clear a hill that was just beyond the lake and crashed. Everyone was OK but the one hunter said to the other, "Hey, this is the same place we crashed last year!" :E Cheesy:
 
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HERE'S MY ENTRY... LOADING A CAPE BUFFALO INTO A TRUCK. IT WAS QUITE FUNNY!
Now if I could only get the picture to show up...
 

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This was the most popular Halloween costume in Florida this year.
 
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If you have a rattlesnake in one pocket and a broken condom in the other, what would you do?



If it was me, I would't screw with either one!
 
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