on a lighter note...

86822091_10219765131910733_1238895849245769728_o.jpg
 
Must have been a not overly bright democrat.
 
Ordering a Pizza in 2021

CALLER:
Is this Pizza Delight?

GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Pizza Delight last month.

CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:
My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want ...

GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:
What? I detest vegetable!

GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:
How the hell do you know!

GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:
I paid in cash.

GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!

GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
 
The first time I saw this, about 10 years ago, it was funny. Not so much now.
 
1. Who the hell spells it "fourty"?
Evidently this test was written by Harvard over a century ago.

or

It was written by a millennial who can't spell.
 

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SETH RINGER wrote on Fatback's profile.
IF YOU DON'T COME UP WITH ANY .458, I WILL TRY AND GET MY KID TO PACK SOME UP FOR YOU BUT PROBABLY WOUDN'T BE TILL THIS WEEKEND AND GO OUT NEXT WEEK.
PURA VIDA, SETH
sgtsabai wrote on Sika98k's profile.
I'm unfortunately on a diet. Presently in VA hospital as Agent Orange finally caught up with me. Cancer and I no longer can speak. If all goes well I'll be out of here and back home in Thailand by end of July. Tough road but I'm a tough old guy. I'll make it that hunt.
sgtsabai wrote on Wyfox's profile.
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sgtsabai wrote on Tanks's profile.
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