on a lighter note...

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The following message may be offensive to some. View discretion is advised.

A man walked by another man with something in a plain brown paper bag under his arm.
The other man noticed the brown bag under his arm and asked "Hey what you got in the bag?".
The man with the package replied "It's a bottle of vodka, I got it for my wife".
The inquiring man replied "Good trade!"
 
A little girl leaning into a lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?
'The biker replies "I'm a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I voted for Trump".
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on the front page:
** U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH. **
And THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these day's.
 
A little girl leaning into a lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?
'The biker replies "I'm a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I voted for Trump".
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads on the front page:
** U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH. **
And THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these day's.
This one is hall of famer.
 
A man bought a lie detector robot. Every time the robot detects a lie, it slaps the liar. He decided to test it at dinner on his son, who he suspected of often lying to him.

DAD: Son where were you today during school hours?

SON: At school (robot slaps son) ouch! Okay okay, I went to the movies!

DAD: Which one?

SON: Harry Potter (robot slaps son again). Ow! Okay, jeez - I was watching porn, okay?

DAD: What? When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was! (robot slaps Dad)

MOM: laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."

The Robot slaps the mother...
 
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A blonde heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can Look young and beautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes."
 
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Too bad he wasn't hammered as bad as Trump is now.
 
That’s because most Republicans have a thing called a job which are foreign to Democrats/ Liebrels, so they don’t have time to post trash all day.

A job is definitely foreign to these protestors. If one is working, how would they find the time?
 

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Nice try, Asshole!
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