on a lighter note...

[Hogpatrol]

 

[cpr0312]

Don't know where this is, but my gut instinct would say not to take this short cut road!!!

 

[Abeln]

Don't know where this is, but my gut instinct would say not to take this short cut road!!!

View attachment 214869

sounds suspiciously similar to the road to marriage

 

[Bullthrower338]

Don't know where this is, but my gut instinct would say not to take this short cut road!!!

View attachment 214869

Isn’t this the road that Loreana Bobbit lives on?

 

[Abeln]

 

[Abeln]

 

[Abeln]

 

[Abeln]

 

[Abeln]

 

[Hogpatrol]

Mickey Mouse came before the judge in divorce court.
The judge says "I see in your petition, you are suing for divorce on the grounds of mental instability"?
Mickey responds. "I didn't say Minnie was nuts. I said she was fucking Goofy".

 

[BRICKBURN]

View attachment 214877

Like taxidermy

 

[Abeln]

Like taxidermy

exactly what I thought

 

[jeff]

Don't know where this is, but my gut instinct would say not to take this short cut road!!!

View attachment 214869

Is that right next to Lorena Bobbitt drive ?

 

[Timbo]

Childhood sweethearts Beryl and Cyril were in their 80's when they met up again. Realising they still had a spark for each other they got married. Come the wedding night and Cyril is waiting in the bedroom for Beryl, who was in the bathroom getting herself ready. As she came through the door she said:
"I got to warn you, I've got acute angina."
Cyril replied:
"I bloody well hope so! Because your tits look horrible!"

 

[Timbo]

A few years after Beryl and Cyril were married, and still being quite frisky, they were sitting down to breakfast one morning in the nude. Afeter a few minutes, Beryl looked up across the table and said to Cyril:
"You know Cyril, my nipples are as hot for you as when I first met you!"
Cyril, looking back at her nonplussed replied:
"That's because Beryl, your left one is in your porridge, and the right one is in your cup of tea!"

 

[Hogpatrol]

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache."

 

[Pheroze]

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache."

You have got to have the largest database of jokes ever!

 

[Hogpatrol]

You have got to have the largest database of jokes ever!

My buddies every day bury me with them and that includes some African PHs that I've hunted with.

Here's the rest of the email that contained the twin joke. Enough in it to offend just about everyone. Enjoy.

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening".

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct answer either.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard.

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

 

[Hogpatrol]

Dinners and campfires are a blast at my hunting venues. Good to have a straight man to really hammer 'em.

 

[ArmyGrunt]