Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.
OH YOUR BAD NOW CUZ YOU JUMPED ME LAST NIGHT???!!!!
Hah, I still handled all of you...
I PARK THE CAR and as soon as I get the car door open, I get rushed!! You think you got some good shots on my face? think again!
I don't have anything on my face! I have some marks on my arms and neck but that isn't a big deal!
I Bet you didn't think I was going to swing back.
It was like eight against one . Not gonna lie I was getting tired and just wanted to go inside. I don’t talk a lot of crap, but I am no wimp!!! I'm going to fight back making sure you get yours too!
All I have to say is you attacked me, rushed me at my house, caught me off guard, and that's a cowards move...catch me on the streets. We can do this all day!! I got in the house I grabbed my weapon, turned around went back outside.
Again they attacked me, this time they didn't catch me off guard.
I sprayed them.
I had no choice .
I hate freaking mosquitoes and how they roll!
Been there done that with a friends .378 Weatherby. Only it was 18 rnds. Shortly thereafter realized I had torn my right retina in two places.
As the old saying goes, what is mothers day without gifts? Fathers day!
The power (confusion) of the English language...
A Well Run Business
Me: I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer down to the bar to do some data entries.
I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, ‘What’s the wifi password?’
Bartender: 'You need to buy a drink first.'
Me: 'Okay, I’ll have a beer.'
Bartender: 'We have Molson’s Canadian on tap'
Me: 'Sure. How much is that?'
Me: 'Here you are. OK now, what’s the wifi password?'
Bartender: " youneedtobuyadrinkfirst "; No spaces and all lowercase.'
As the old saying goes, what is mothers day without gifts?
I believe he is a cunni-linguist!
Facts about giraffes.
Memory isn't the greatest so apologize if this one's previously been posted.
CARING WORDS FROM A PILOT --
During a commercial airline flight an experienced a Flying Tiger pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.
When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.
The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.
When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "that's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!"
Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.
The Tiger Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum."
Separate names with a comma.