Free Hunt for One Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.

 

Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.

 

Chuck Norris can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline.

 

Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.

 

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.

 

Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is just plain logic.

 

Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.

 

Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

 

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

 

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

 

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

 

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

 

Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.

 

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

 

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

 

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.

 

There once was a street called Chuck Norris, but the name was changed for public safety because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.