Free Hunt for One Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

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A man and his wife were working in their garden one day.

The man looks over at his wife and says: “Your butt is getting really big I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill, then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife’s bottom. “Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!” The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband was feeling a little frisky. He made some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers: “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?”
 
I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account, so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times... I've got 3 followers so far, but I think 2 are cops.
 
 

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Three engineers were debating which profession was the "best", so they decided to use the human body as a model. the first, an electrical engineer looked at the nerves and synapses and declared it had to have been designed by a electrical engineer because it functions so perfectly. The second looked at the structure of the muscles, bones and tendons and declared it had to have been designed by a mechanical engineer. The third, a civil engineer declared the human body had been designed by a civil engineer. The other two demanded proof, and he said, "Who else would put a toxic waste pipeline right next to a recreational area?"
 
Today I went in for my annual eye exam. The doctor put this new chart on the wall and asked if I could read it.
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Worried that my vision is really getting bad, I confessed that I could not read the chart.
Then the doctor told me, "If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corners of your eyes back, as if you were Japanese. Keep pulling until your eyes are almost closed."
 
Three Firsts:
First time in Africa.
First time shooting a high-power rifle.
First African Game Animal
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After a hard morning of hunting and not seeing anything I go back to the truck. I get in the truck and check my phone. Not two minutes after I get in the truck I look in the driver's side mirror and this is what I see.

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Coolest part though was the calico coloring. Never seen one before.
 
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