on a lighter note...

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Seal walks into a club.....




Requires some thinking. Laughed my ass off when it sank in.

Shortest joke ever.
 
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View attachment 288043 I may have shared this one but stumbled across it and felt it deserved to be seen again. In the restroom at our local 4-H youth expo center / barn
personally, I feel we should just remove all the warning labels and let nature take it's course
 
personally, I feel we should just remove all the warning labels and let nature take it's course
I very strongly agree with that. If you stupid enough to drink that shit you deserve to not be here. IMHO evolution has been slowed down some due to warning labels and the like
 
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.


****************************** *
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
 

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Daryl S wrote on mgstucson's profile.
Hi - the only (best) method of sending you the .375/06IMP data is with photographing my book notes. My camera died so the only way I can do it is with my phone. To do that, I would need your e-mail address, as this
new Android phone is too complicated to upload to my desk computer, which would be easier and to down-grade, reduce the file sizes.
Best wishes
Daryl
Golden wildebeest cow cull hunt

swashington wrote on Hyde's profile.
Hey Steve, This is Steve Washington we met at KMG last year. I am interested in your Winchester. Would love to speak with you about it. I work third shift and I cannot take a phone with me to work. Let me know a good time to call during one of your mornings. My phone is [redacted]. Live in Florida so I have to account for the time difference.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Ray B wrote on woodsman1991's profile.
Hi @woodsman1991 -
I'm Ray [redacted]

Reply with name/address and I'll get a check into tomorrow's mail.
Boela wrote on Slider's profile.
Good day, Slider.

Do you by any chance have any 500NE brass left that you are willing to part ways with?

Best regards,
Boela Bekker.
 
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