on a lighter note...

[observe]

QUESTION: What do you do with your gun in a public bathroom?

ANSWER:
Options 1. Keep it holstered and drop you pants carefully. And pull pants up carefully when finish.

Option 2 a. Act like an idiot. Remove gun from holster and put on top of cistern. Finish your business, pull up you pants and leave. When you get home you realize a mistake was made.

You speed back to the said bathroom at the mall only to find it in the same condition you found it hours ago ....without a gun.

Option 2 b. Act like another idiot. Run to the toilet. You stomach tells you you have to beat the 10 second mark for a 100 m sprint. Kick the door open, flip the lid and turn in one movement, unbelt and pull down your pants and realise you have a holstered gun. Brain tells body to to make safe and proceed as normal. Stomach tells brain to act faster. Anus tells body to speed up or you,ll have a problem. Stomach start to push and anus opens up. "Battle stations" shout brain.

Somewhere wires get crossed. Anus took over brain function. Anus tell hands to drop safety and squeeze trigger. Eyes sees a flash. Ears hear a massive bang and cut off all bodily functions. Anus open up and drops the bomb in you pants that is still halfway on your knees. Your knees get weak and your body collapse on the pot. Another bomb drops involuntary and hit the water.

"Restart, restart", shout the brain. Brain is trying to put all scrambled info in a logical order. First info brain gets is stomach is turning and burning. Brain shouts "All hands on deck". Hands grab toilet seat. Eyes close automaticly. Stomach push till that turning exploding feeling in you stomach dissapears. Brain recognise people screaming and can hear them running in all directions. And categorized as Not important issues now

Eyes open up and look at the closed door. Brain recognise a small hole in the middle of the toilet door the exact same size of your calibre of your gun.

The door opens slowly and you stare down the mall security guy pointing his gun at you

??

 

[Timbo]

They seem to forget that BJ 5.0 and diet 6.0 go out the window after they change models also!

BJ 5.0 is only ever an introductory access package as offered by the User. Once she has achieved her goal of installing Husband 01, she knows that BJ 5.0 is not needed ever again. The Husband 01 operating system is therefore stuck in a "gosub" routine, forever sending system prompts to access the BJ 05 software without ever again achieving the desired connectivity.

However, Husband 01 at some point may then try to access a competitor's BJ 05 or similar software elsewhere. This is a disastrous situation for the Husband 01 OS!! As if this access is detected by the User, it undoubtedly leads to her kicking Husband 01 in his Application Package , his hard reboot to the kerb side , and eventual loss of all the hardware he'd worked all those years to get!!

In time, the User probably will supersede Husband 01 OS with a carefully formatted Boyfriend 06 with setting restrictions. Whilst ex-Husband 01 OS enters into a regular self-lubricating cycle , and is left to ponder either the various online used part sites , or new versions in the Asian markets . What ever he chooses, ex-Husband 01 OS must be always be wary of infection by viruses!!

 

[Mort Hill]

View attachment 279235 My cousin came home from college for Easter decided to check his trail camera this is what he found.
I’m at a loss for words you will have to add the caption.
Shawn

Howler Monkey?

 

[Shawn.54]

Howler Monkey?

It made me howl and those two pellets in mind air I have to find out what camera he is using.
My suggestion to the deer is more fiber.

 

[Hogpatrol]

 

[BigJohnx13]

 

[Rob404]

 

[Hogpatrol]

 

[fish hunter]

 

[BRICKBURN]

The suggestion on how to watch a political debate on TV appeals to me.

 

[Hogpatrol]

The suggestion on how to watch a political debate on TV appeals to me.

For me too. Alternatively as soon as anything political appears on the screen, I jump to my favorite music channel. I bet if you polled the American voters, 90 percent would say they're not interested.

Edit: Just had to do it. Ironic the song playing was "You talk too much".

 

[Hogpatrol]

 

[Rob404]

 

[Rob404]

 

[Rob404]

 

[Rob404]

 

[K-man]

View attachment 280418

That is so sh-cool!!! I grew up on "hewked on fonicks werked for me.."
I find myself thinking that should be in @redleg neighborhood as he is sooo casual about spelling..LOL

 

[Dudders]

 

[Deleted member 11879]

 

[observe]