I know you all are trying and your intentions are meant to be humorous.
But Not Funny.
I know 2 guys:
1 drug his dog to death and the other his horse. Both thinking they could exercise their respective pet /animal from the comfort of their warm vehicle, because they saw others do the same thing. The others knew how to exercise their animals via a motor vehicle. These 2 were oblivious to the proper way to exercise their animals from a vehicle. These 2 were also about to be hanged - lynched, after a biased 10 minute trial, by locals for their ignorance. Damn sheriff deputy showed up and stopped the hanging - lynching.
We take our, and others, animals' health, care, and welfare, very seriously.