AN ELDERLY COUPLE LEARNED TO SEND TEXT MESSAGES ON THEIR MOBILE PHONES.
THE WIFE, A RETIRED COLLEGE ENGLISH INSTRUCTOR WITH EMPHASIS ON THE CLASSICS, WAS AN UNAPOLOGETIC ROMANTIC; HER HUSBAND, A RETIRED SALTY NAVY CHIEF PETTY OFFICER OF THIRTY YEARS' SERVICE, WAS A NO-NONSENSE GUY.
ONE AFTERNOON THE WIFE WENT TO THE LOCAL STARBUCKS TO MEET A FRIEND FOR COFFEE. WHILE AWAITING HER FRIEND'S ARRIVAL, SHE EXERCISED HER NEW SKILL BY SENDING HER HUSBAND A ROMANTIC TEXT MESSAGE:
"IF YOU ARE SLEEPING, SEND ME YOUR DREAMS. IF YOU ARE LAUGHING, SEND ME YOUR SMILE. IF YOU ARE EATING, SEND ME A BITE. IF YOU ARE DRINKING, SEND ME A SIP. IF YOU ARE CRYING, SEND ME YOUR TEARS. I LOVE YOU."
THE HUSBAND RESPONDED: "I'M TAKIN' A SHIT. PLEASE ADVISE."
An oldie but a goodie!
A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas, and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only 2 extra beds, and one person will have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn," so he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow."
So the rabbi says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.
So the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow.
Sir, I think I have been writing to you about the purchase of the HK 639 rifle under an email "Tt Jake." If this is you, then I am truly interested. I am just trying to verify identify. Tt Jake is asking for a cash transaction. No disrespect intended, Just trying to verify who I am talking to. Thank you. Respectfully. Dan
Hey my friend, I am returning to SA for a Cape Buffalo hunt in June 26. My outfitter has suggested Highveld but I have read some poor reports. Wondering how satisfied you were with your mounts from them? Thanks in advance.
Remember I will be at the ISE show in Denver Colorado for 8-12 January, and after the show I will be available for meetings anywhere in the USA I will traveling around to meet with old and new clients, let me know and we will set up a meeting!
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