Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.
AN ELDERLY COUPLE LEARNED TO SEND TEXT MESSAGES ON THEIR MOBILE PHONES.
THE WIFE, A RETIRED COLLEGE ENGLISH INSTRUCTOR WITH EMPHASIS ON THE CLASSICS, WAS AN UNAPOLOGETIC ROMANTIC; HER HUSBAND, A RETIRED SALTY NAVY CHIEF PETTY OFFICER OF THIRTY YEARS' SERVICE, WAS A NO-NONSENSE GUY.
ONE AFTERNOON THE WIFE WENT TO THE LOCAL STARBUCKS TO MEET A FRIEND FOR COFFEE. WHILE AWAITING HER FRIEND'S ARRIVAL, SHE EXERCISED HER NEW SKILL BY SENDING HER HUSBAND A ROMANTIC TEXT MESSAGE:
"IF YOU ARE SLEEPING, SEND ME YOUR DREAMS. IF YOU ARE LAUGHING, SEND ME YOUR SMILE. IF YOU ARE EATING, SEND ME A BITE. IF YOU ARE DRINKING, SEND ME A SIP. IF YOU ARE CRYING, SEND ME YOUR TEARS. I LOVE YOU."
THE HUSBAND RESPONDED: "I'M TAKIN' A SHIT. PLEASE ADVISE."
ALMOST BRINGS A TEAR TO MY EYES
With all due respect to our barrister members.
An oldie but a goodie!
A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas, and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only 2 extra beds, and one person will have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn," so he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow."
So the rabbi says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.
So the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow.
Now that is a perfect use for wolves!
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