Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Mar 28, 2013.
A group of men live and die for their Saturday morning golf game.
One transfers to another city and they’re lost without him.
An elderly woman joins their Club.
When she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says,
“I played on my college’s golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?
“No one wants to say ‘yes’, but they’re on the spot.
Finally, one man says.
Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m. He figures the early tee-time will discourage her.
The woman says this may be a problem, and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.
They roll their eyes, but say, “Okay”.
She’s there at 6:30 a.m. sharp and beats all of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round.
She’s fun and pleasant, and the guys are impressed.
They congratulate her and invite her back the next week.
She smiles and says, “I’ll be there at 6:30 or 6:45.”
The next week she again shows up at 6:30 sharp.
Only this time, she plays left-handed.
The three guys are incredulous as she still beats them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand.
They’re totally amazed.
They can’t figure her out. She’s very pleasant and a gracious winner.
They invite her back again, but each man harbors a burning desire to beat her.
The third week, she’s 15 minutes late, which irritates the guys.
This week she plays right-handed and narrowly beats all three of them.
The men grumble that her late arrival is petty gamesmanship on her part.
However, she’s so charming and complimentary of their strong play, they can’t hold a grudge.
This woman is a riddle no one can figure out.
They have a couple of beers in the Clubhouse and finally, one of the men asks her.
“How do you decide if you’re going to golf right-handed or left-handed?”
The elderly lady blushes and grins.
“When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous.” She replies.
“I like to switch back and forth.””When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I leave in the morning for golf practice, I pull the covers off him. If his W!llie points to the right, I golf right-handed; if it points to the left, I golf left-handed.”
The guys think this is hysterical.
Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys says.
“What if it’s pointing straight up?”
She says. “Then, I’m fifteen minutes late.”
In honor of two of my favorite country music artists of all time....
Little Johnny rules arithmetic:
Teacher: okay class, what does 1+1 equal?
Sally: one plus one equals two.
Teacher: correct, Sally.
Teacher: okay class, what does 6+0=?
Jimmy: six plus zero equals six.
Teacher: very good Jimmy.
Teacher: okay class, here is a hard problem, what is 1+1+6+0+9=?
Only little Johnny's hand goes up. Reluctantly the teacher calls on little Johnny.
Little Johnny: 3.
Teacher: three is incorrect, little Johnny.
Little Johnny: (thinking), yes teacher, three is correct.
Teacher: not thinking, quickly asked little Johnny to explain his answer.
Little Johnny: my dad, my mom, 6 beers, zero condoms, 9 months, equals me, my little brother, and my little sister.... three.
Teacher: now red face and flabbergasted, okay class time for art.
Or a libtard democrap
Ralphy would have definitely put his eye out with that super dangerous death spewing machine gun!!
Separate names with a comma.