on a lighter note...

observe said:

View attachment 595933

Click to expand...

Only Wishful Thinking....by all the ranks.....enlisted and officers; below and above lieutenants.

PARA45 said:

My grandmother had a green Amazon parrot. This thing hated my gut. One day this parrot tricked me, and while I was petting her, she almost took my finger. Well, I punched this parrot, and from then on we were best of friends. I took advantage of this friendship and taught this parrot every curse word I knew. You should have seen my grandmother’s face when this bird said a perfect sentence with about 4 curse words in it. I got grounded for two weeks for that, but at the end my grandmother enjoyed how vocal the parrot was with her new and improved vocabulary.

Click to expand...

Aunt Emily's husband died a few weeks ago and the house was so quiet she had trouble adapting. Her husband was always talking to her, or his friends on the phone so this made it doubly hard. One of her friends suggested she get a couple parrots and maybe listening to them all day would break up the silence. She went to the local pet store where two female parrots were in a cage and for sale. She explained the situation and the store owner advised her that these parrots were from a tavern in the local port and their vocabulary was a little on the salty side. She decided to purchase them anyway, took them home and without fail they started cursing up a blue streak. Later that day, Father McMullen stopped by to look in on her and was shocked at what he was hearing. He related that he had two male parrots that were very devout, prayed the bible and said the rosary every day. He told her maybe if he took her parrots and put them in with his, they would get a better vocabulary and rid themselves of their foul language habit. He takes the cage back to the rectory and his two parrots, Moses and Jerramiah are in the cage, Moses has a miniature bible in his feet, turning the pages and reading passages and Jerramiah is going through the beads on his rosary saying Hail Marys and Our Fathers.
Father opens the cage and puts the two female parrots in with his. One of them blurts out "Hi boys.
We're a couple of wild women and we like whiskey in our water and getting naked and ****** all night long". Moses drops the bible, looks at Jerramiah and says "Jerry, throw away those rosary beads. Our prayers have been answered".

I know this is an oldie but I still laugh every time I see it.

Fish should not be cut with a knife

Vashper said:

Fish should not be cut with a knife

Click to expand...

Exactly!!! Everyone knows it's easier to fillet fish using only fingernails and teeth.

JOHN GRENZ said:

View attachment 595986

Click to expand...

Absolutely nothing!!!

Ok, I'm going to call this out as BS, on reposting previously posted memes. If anyone can't post an original meme, don't post a previous meme to gain points. It is totally immoral and unethical. And you will not get a response from me. Period!!! This has gone on way too long and the celebration of this thread on hitting over 1000 has been degraded by the fact there has been too many repost of meme by members wanting or feeling they need to gain higher ratings!! This needs to stop!!

JOHN GRENZ said:

View attachment 595986

Click to expand...

Great attempt....but you really need to add protein not sugars, water, citrus juice, salt, and artificial flavorings.

Here is the best protein for such a drink:

JOHN GRENZ said:

View attachment 595986

Click to expand...

Too many ice croutons.