When Insults Had "Class"

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Insults are from an era before the English language became boiled down to 4-letter words :

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS


A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli,

"whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."



"He had delusions of adequacy."

-Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

Clarence Darrow.

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

-Moses Hadas.

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

-Mark Twain.

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."

-Oscar Wilde.


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."

-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one."

-
Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

-Stephen Bishop.

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

-John Bright.

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

- Irvin S. Cobb.

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

-Samuel Johnson.

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

-Paul Keating.

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

- Charles, Count Talleyrand.

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

-Forrest Tucker.

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

-Mark Twain.

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.."

-Mae West.

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

- Oscar Wilde.

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather

than illumination."


-Andrew Lang (1844-1912).

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

-Billy Wilder.

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.But this wasn't it."

– Groucho Marx.
 
well done BB
 
Good ones !
 
"some people are like slinkys.......not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one take a tumble down the stairs"......unknown

This is how they described one of my old managers: "She practices a 'sea gull' form of management: Flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything & everyone, and flies out"........
 
You sir are a grape and all you make is whine.
 

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