on a lighter note...

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
 
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Trick or Treating in Florida:

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Burial Plans

A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98. After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife said, " Let him dig. I had him buried upside down...and I know he won't ask for directions."
 
That robbery gone bad IS HILARIOUS!!!
 
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Decades later:

 
a friend has got a ticket for the Superbowl final.
But he forgot,that his marriage is at that day.

Does someone has interest ??????

The church is in Austin and the name of the bride is Lizzy.
;)
 
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meanwhile in the South....
 
a friend has got a ticket for the Superbowl final.
But he forgot,that his marriage is at that day.

Does someone has interest ??????

The church is in Austin and the name of the bride is Lizzy.
;)

Maybe! Got a picture????
 

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