on a lighter note...

[flying sailor]

+1. Mine SHOULD/MAYBE be shipped this week. I just know it'll be a shitshow because that's my dumb luck....... ALWAYS it seems! Glad it's a Waning Crescent moon phase and not a full moon. LOL

I hope when its my turn I am mot on the receiving end of the fuckening. However it is a ways off and I have plenty of whiskey and rum!

 

[Jeff505]

That looks like a Mort Kunsler painting.View attachment 534406

This picture sent to me by @Doug3006, another painting by Mort K., What a proper way for a man to meet his maker.

 

[gillettehunter]

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."


I thought growing old would take longer.


My bucket list: keep breathing.


Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.


Just once, I want a user name and password prompt to say, "Close enough."


Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.


I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!


Retirement to do list: Wake up. Nailed it!


Went to an antique auction and people were bidding on me.


People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full, miss the point. The glass is refillable.


I don't have grey hair; I have wisdom highlights.


Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.


I don't trip, I do random gravity checks.


My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans say, please, please, please eat a salad!


Never laugh at your spouse's choices. You are one of them.


One minute you're young and fun. The next, you're turning down the car stereo to see better.


I'd grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.


Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me, so from now I'm going to concentrate on getting taller.


My body is a temple; ancient and crumbling.


Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone else who doesn't have it.


I came. I saw. I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps. Got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what's going on.

 

[gillettehunter]

It doesn't matter what party you belong to, this is good natured political humor from a Canadian TV show, where a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton...

"Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton!"

He was the closest thing we ever got to having a real black man as President.

He plays the saxophone.

He smoked weed.

He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now? Look at him... his wife works, and he doesn't!

And, he gets a check from the government every month.

Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."

The Clinton revised judicial oath:

"I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."

Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to have sex in the Oval Office between the Bushes.

It's just been announced by Dell that a new computer will be introduced to the market in the near future. It's the Bill Clinton model featuring a 6 inch hard-drive and no memory.

 

[spike.t]

 

[spike.t]

 

[spike.t]

 

[spike.t]

 

[spike.t]

 

[Sabattiboy]

View attachment 534644

My male biological representative was famous for saying, "If head can't learn Butt will!"

 

[nztimb]

 

[nztimb]

 

[nztimb]

 

[nztimb]

 

[nztimb]

 

[cpr0312]

 

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[Boyd Brooks]

 

[Boyd Brooks]