I booked a hunt for August during COVID. The vaccination program up here was a shitshow (understatement!). In February I had to have emergency appendectomy. They discovered a hernia during the surgery but unprepared to deal with it. Recovery was poor and pain so bad I was back in hospital. Then it was discovered I also had gallstones. Nothing could be done because both hernia and gallstones are "elective" surgery which was closed down. In the meantime I traveled south to Minneapolis VA hospital to get my vaccine (+ two week quarantine). Then a window opened for elective surgery. We flipped a coin and chose gallbladder. Surgeon wouldn't do both as too many holes in my body = too much opportunity for infection. While I was in post-op the window for elective surgery closed again. VA in Montana called to see if I got my shot. Yep. Johnsons so one and done. "How are you feeling?" Shitty. Guts in my scrotum and I can hardly get off the couch. "We can fix that for you." Really? Next day surgeon calls from Minneapolis and I explain things. He sets me an appointment for three days hense. "Sounds like we need to get after this sooner rather than later." Yeah, well it's gonna have to be somewhat later as I am required to be quarantined two weeks after returning home. "Oh right. We will see you at noon Thursday and do surgery at 9:00 a.m. Friday." I was on my way home by 3:00 p.m. Saturday. Arrived to find the water heater leaking in the basement. Nothing for it to replace it myself. No plummer could come to the house during quarantine. I plumbed that one in so knew I could do it again. Ordered a new one online from Home Depot to be delivered the next day. The delivery guy shows up with a bag of solder flux only. Where's the tank? He gives me the foreman salute (shoulder shrug). After an hour on hold I finally talk to someone at the store. The online system automatically defaults on every single item to curbside pickup. Water heater and solder are waiting for pickup but he will have them to the house in a half hour. I go down into basement and discombobulate the old heater, drain it (floor drain two feet away), pull it up the stairs with an old pack rope from horse wrangling days, walk it two feet across, the back porch landing, and kick it out the door onto lawn. New one still in the box is easily slid downstairs. I plumbed it in and ready for a shower ... finally. Two days later the surgeon calls to see how recovery was going. Okay I guess. Managed to replace the water heater. "Are you nuts! You could tear the repairs apart." I was pretty careful. Just call it extreme physiotherapy. He was not amused.
In the meantime I had sent my 30-06 to a Superior, WI "gunsmith" to be rebarreled in May. Still didn't have it back by August and he was ghosting me. So I drove down (after quarantine restrictions lifted) and got in touch with sheriff's office. He did not ghost them! Within a half hour the douche bag calls and says come pick it up. What a dump! The guy claimed he couldn't finish the job because his dog bit him. Yep, there was a mean dog and I did not leave my vehicle. He comes out with significantly bandaged hand (what kind of idiot would keep a dog that bit him?) and my rifle in three pieces. He gave it to me and I gave him the F-bomb and drove off. Due to leave for Africa in four days! There was a machinist/gunsmith way up in Red Lake, Ontario who said he could put the barrel on for me. So away I go, only to arrive at the border the very morning it first opened to Americans (I am US citizen and Canadian permanent resident so allowed to cross both ways). It was a hundred degrees and traffic was lined up five miles trying to cross the border. People were running out of gas keeping air conditioners running (mine was broken!). A real disaster. Fortunately, the Texan behind me had several coolers with ice melting so I could keep my dogs watered. Needless to say I was not prepared for this. Not even a toothbrush, let alone change of clothes. I beat it straight to Walmart and bought new duds and some toiletries. Then off to the Far North to get my gun fixed. Then back home to discover the govt would not give me a COVID certificate to fly. They had farmed that out to some civilian outfit that wanted $600! No shit! "Well sir, you will pay us $600 or throw your ticket away." F-you! I told my daughter to look after the dogs, jumped back in my car, and drove 7.5 hours back to Minneapolis VA hospital and they printed up the travel doc. Gassed up and drove home arriving about midnight with flight to Africa leaving at six. Had to pack up and be at airport an hour early with guns. Then fly to Toronto, Frankfurt, Joberg, and Port Elizabeth. As I recall, by the time I arrived at the lodge I had not slept in a bed for more than five days. Really had not slept at all.
Edit: The water heater never got billed to my credit card. I tried several times to call Home Depot but lines were tied up with phone orders. The morning in-store shopping restrictions were lifted I was there to sort it out. The gal called the manager. I explained I didn't want someone to get in trouble because of the mistake. He smiled. "No one would get in trouble. That was MY mistake. I took your call." He said it would have been a free water heater if I hadn't made it right. "Are you okay if I knock fifty bucks off the price?" Oh hell no, don't do that!
I got the trophy.
