Free Hunt for One Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

[Bullthrower338]

 

[daneil]

 

[Kata]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"[

 

[Kata]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

 

[Kata]

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''

 

[Kata]

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

 

[Kata]

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.

 

[Kata]

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

 

[HunterMarkus]

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.''

 

[HunterMarkus]

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

 

[HunterMarkus]

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

 

[HunterMarkus]

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''

 

[Louis Phillips]

Free Hunt for One Rifle or Bow Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

HUNT GIVEAWAY DRAWING - WIN A FREE HUNT FOR ONE HUNTER & ONE OBSERVER WORTH US$ 6,200, 7 DAYS (5 FULL HUNTING DAYS) AND 4 TROPHIES WITH LIANGA SAFARIS IN THE LIMPOPO PROVINCE OF SOUTH AFRICA FOR 2016.

Herman Scheepers is an outstanding professional hunter and outfitter and will go to any extent to give the best to his clients. Lianga safaris was born out of love and passion for hunting and conservation. From the outset our goal has been to provide our clients with the most memorable, enjoyable and affordable hunting possible.

Lianga Safaris is nestled deep in the heart of the bushveld in the Limpopo province. We specialize in rifle and bow hunting for both plains game and dangerous as well as wing shooting around South Africa but predominantly hunt in the Limpopo and Northern cape provinces. We offer high quality wildlife, exquisite true African cuisine and clean comfortable lodging.

The lodge
Our comfortable chalets and friendly helpful staff will ensure that our guests experience the true African hospitality while enjoying "biltong" and local beer and wine from our fully stocked bar. Hunters will return to the lodge after a day of testing their hunting skills against the African wild, where they will be treated with a variety of delicious local cuisine. Guests will enjoy South African dishes such as traditional open fire braais, potjiekos (meat pot), Malva desert and venison roasts. Nights are ended sharing hunting tales around a cosy campfire.

Wing shooting
A few days of wing shooting can be combined with any hunting trip. Although South Africa is still little known as a wing shooting destination, it offers exiting bird hunting opportunities with a wide variety of bird species available.

For the observer
In addition to the sheer enjoyment of the tranquility of the bush there are many adventurous activities and sightseeing around Lianga Safaris. One of the most popular sightseeing destinations is Kruger National park. Kruger is definitely worth visiting once and we offer day trips as well as overnight photo safaris. Observers can also choose from several exciting day trips like canopy touring, predator parks and visiting a nearby crocodile ranch, to name a few.

Two to three day Kruger photo safaris can be added to any hunting safari, we also offer Kruger day trips.

We have two options for predator day trips, the Ranch Lion Park or the Limpopo Predator park which are both an hour and a half drive from us.

Day trip of zip lining is just one hour's drive from us.

Don't just dream of a hunting safari in Africa, experience it!


A member of AfricaHunting.com will WIN a FREE HUNT for One Hunter and One Observer. Hunting may be done with rifle or bow, worth US$ 6,200 for 7 days including 5 hunting days (6 nights), arrival and departure days and 4 trophies with Lianga Safaris. Hunt to be taken in 2016.

Plains game trophies included in the hunt:
1 x Blue Wildebeest
1 x Impala
1 x Blesbuck
1 x Duiker or Steenbok or Warthog
For additional trophy fees, please visit our website at www.liangasafaris.com. Species not listed are available on request.

HUNT includes:
- Safari is for one hunter and one observer
- 7 day plains game hunt with Lianga Safaris with 5 full hunting days plus arrival and departure days
- Government value added tax of 14% on daily rates
- Services of a licensed professional hunter, trackers, skinners, all camp staff and vehicles
- Accommodations within the hunting area during your safari with us
- All meals
- Soft drinks with local beer and wine in moderation
- Daily laundry service
- Hunting licenses and permits (excluding CITES and Dangerous Game Permits)
- Field preparation of trophies
- Delivery of trophies to the taxidermist of your choice in South Africa (within one hundred miles of hunting area)
- Pick-up and Drop-off from O.R. Tambo International Airport

HUNT does not include:
- International and domestic airfare
- Accommodations prior to and after the safari
- Any transport outside of hunting property that is not already included
- Additional eligible animals may be taken according to the 2016 price list
- Trophy fees of animals taken or wounded not included in the hunt giveaway
- CITES if applicable
- Packing, dipping and taxidermy work and shipping of trophies to final destination
- Rifle hire and ammunition
- Gratuities
- Additional tours & excursions
- Medical and travel insurance
- Meet and greet service at the airport for rifle clearance

You are able to add the following at our regular prices:
- Additional activities
- Additional trophies
- Additional days
- Additional hunters and/or observers
- Big Five may be hunted on this hunt

Common species in Limpopo that can be added from our 2016 price list:
- Blesbuck
- Bushbuck
- Bushpig
- Blue Wildebeest
- Duiker
- Eland
- Gemsbuck
- Giraffe
- Impala
- Klipspringer
- Kudu
- Nyala
- Ostrich
- Roan
- Red Hartebeest
- Mountain Reedbuck
- Common Reedbuck
- Sable
- Steenbuck
- Tsessebe
- Warthog
- Waterbuck
- Zebra
- Buffalo


What to do to enter the hunt giveaway drawing:
Post funny and entertaining content such as a picture (hunting related or not), joke, video (media may embedded from the following sites: Dailymotion, Facebook, Liveleak, Metacafe, Vimeo, YouTube), cartoon or short story in this thread for a chance to win. Each individual post will be a single entry. You can enter as many times as you would like. Please do not post copyrighted material.

Post your content below in this thread. If you are not already a registered member you can join by clicking here.

Entries must be posted between November 3, 2015 to January 5, 2016 (at midnight Central Standard Time). After the close of posting we will hold a random drawing to select the winner. The winner will be announced by January 7, 2016 in this thread.

See official rules in the following post.

We ask that the prize winner post a detailed hunting report with pictures about their hunting safari with Lianga Safaris on AfricaHunting.com.

Thanks to everyone who will be taking part in this hunt giveaway drawing and best of luck. Please feel free to leave comments in this thread as well, comments will not be considered as entries.

Thank you and looking forward to seeing you soon in Africa,

Best regards,
Herman & Annette Scheepers

 

[HunterMarkus]

There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''

 

[HunterMarkus]

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

 

[HunterMarkus]

When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.

 

[HunterMarkus]

''My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.''

 

[karlos]

Waiting...

 

[HunterMarkus]

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''

 

[HunterMarkus]

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''