on a lighter note...

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A drunk man, who smelled of liquor, sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his coatpocket. He opened his
newspaper and began reading. . .

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say , do you know what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'SIR', it's caused by loose living, being with cheap,wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I have been TAKEN.' Then he returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, I was just reading here that the Pope does.'
 
Probably a repeat but still funny.

You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home.The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.

By Southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds is considered "mentally unstable.”

BUT…
In Michigan, he'd be called "the last white guy still living in Detroit.”


In Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector.”

In Arkansas, he'd be called "a novice gun collector.”

In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared," but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food.”

In Kansas, he'd be "A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend.”

In Montana, he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy.”

In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate.”

In Georgia, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor.”

In North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Virginia, WV, Mississippi, Tennessee, Louisiana, and Kentucky he would be called "a deer hunting buddy.”

AND OF COURSE
In Texas he'd just be "Bubba; who's a little short on ammo.”
 
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