Australian Humor

[Dr Ray]

John was in fishing in the national park where fishing and associated activities were prohibited. John caught a large mud crab (an absolutely delicious crustacean). He took the mud crab back to his car in a bucket. Mud crabs have a mighty powerful bite!

Just as John put the crab in his car, a ranger jumped out from the bushes to say “Now I’ve got you! Fishing and crabbing are prohibited here. I’ll be issuing you with a $300 fine.

John’s reply was “But he’s my pet!”

Ranger – “Bullsh...”.

John: He’s name is Benny and I take him for a swim every day. He swims and comes back. I’ll prove it.”

So John and the ranger went down to the water and John released the crab. After 5 minutes, the ranger said “so when is Benny coming back?”


John replied. “Who’s Benny?

 

[BRICKBURN]

 

[Opposite Pole]

Here’s a true and funny story. Pete, a spearo mate of mine was being checked by a NSW Fisheries Officer and found to be in a violation of rules - after a successful day out he’s been filleting his fish on the water’s edge and according to the said officer that was illegal and carried quite a severe financial fine - much to Pete’s surprise. The officer said you couldn’t fillet fish directly by the water as the fisheries cannot verify if they were of legal size from the fillets, unless it was “for immediate consumption”. So without thinking much Pete reached for a fillet and proceeded to consume his sashimi. Trouble was he had about 20kg (44lbs) of fish fillets in his bag at this stage so it looked like he was in for a long, lonely evening instead of the planned bbq with mates. Fortunately the officer looked at him wide eyed and told him to piss off as he was unwilling to watch him eat all that raw fish.