Costa is a great instructor
the S&W M&P Shield E-Z slide, as well as their .9mm, two other popular handguns you could consider.
@cajunchefray: good choice on the S&W model 60 — simple to operate and effectiveYes, let the lady decide which gun feels right to her. This is important. My wife can shoot my 1911 .45 ACP well but is comfortable with a 5 shot .38 Special revolver.
A Smith &Wesson Model 60, or for lighter weight, a 642 DAO, with a smooth trigger pull is essential. For some women, racking the slide of a semi auto can be difficult in a stressful situation.
For a semi-auto choice, the Smith & Wesson MP in .380 is a very good choice, very easy to rack the slide, change mags, and shoot accurately. The Mossberg semiauto equivalent is also an easy to handle pistol.
Personally, I don't prefer these, but the ergonomics are excellent.
The lady must feel confident to handle and shoot the pistol, whether it is a .22 Magnum pocket revolver, or a SIG P365. The Glock 43 is a good choice also.
Crimson Trace Laser sight is a great upgrade. My wife wanted this for her.38 Special and we did. Our first time trying a laser sight , and damn, it really is an advantage within 5 yards.I would also recommend a S&W 642 air weight for self defense. It is a hammerless 5 shot revolver. My wife and sister each have one. In a situation where it would actually be necessary to defend oneself, simpler is better. No safety just pull the trigger. A hammer can sometimes catch and delay the gun being brought to ready and a cocked hammer needs to be made safe if not fired. A crimson trace grip would be a good addition to this for both accuracy and safety.
Hornady makes a critical defense lite round, it has a fast expanding bullet, reduced powder charge that should not leave the body of a perpetrator. A missed shot in a house upon hitting drywall should be less then lethal on the other side.
Lots of good advise on this thread and some difference of option based on personal preferences. Good luck with your decision.
My mom carries a Walther P380 and my wife carries a sig 365 in 9mm both are great smaller frame semi autos. I'd stay away from snub nose 38 style harder to become proficient, less accurate, fewer shots, etc. Although something to be said about their reliability.
To all the eggspurts on carry guns and EDC for women recommending j frames and revolvers:
The j frame is an expert's weapon. It is a kill or be killed option only. It is not a get in a gun battle weapon. They don't possess the necessary ammunition on board and they are not easy to reload. They are not easy to use and require dexterity and hand strength some may not possess. If it has a problem, it is likely out of the fight entirely. A person of limited strength or proficiency is ill-served by being forced to use this type of weapon. They will be combat ineffective in short order. The average person is best armed with a Glock 19/26 or a S&W M&P 9 or 9C.
This is coming from someone who can make hits at 100 yards with a j frame, likely beat you to five shots with it, and reload it under three seconds(shot to shot).
....They don't possess the necessary ammunition on board and they are not easy to reload. ......
....If it has a problem, it is likely out of the fight entirely. ...
.....They are not easy to use and require dexterity and hand strength some may not possess. .....
.....They will be combat ineffective in short order. ....